New categories include an EXCLUSIVE weekly Offensive Line Report (Rushing TD’s + 3rdand 4thdowns converted of 2 yards or less – Sacks allowed); as well as Drive Killer(Int – FR – 4th down Tackles – FF – TD).
Passing: (S) QB Joe Flacco – (13/16 – 81.2 – 188 – 2 – 0)
I hear you asking, “What about all the stuff that stats don’t reveal?” Well, that’s the reason for these Four Thingsarticles. It’s to point out what we need to address BEFORE the game. Then AFTER the game, there’s a no-bullshit assessment of whether or not the Eagles did any of what they needed to do, to ensure the win.
So how much of what I mentioned in Four Things: Jets did the Eagles actually get around to doing? Well let’s see:
1) Coach for the Win: Instead of trying to guide his starters to a form of victory to get the taste of a win in their mouths, head coach Nick Sirianni decided to continue to evaluate his bench. Maybe that will pay off, if we get hammered with another injury bug. (Not Done)
2) Play the Starters for a Half: Nope! The starters didn’t even wear jerseys without pads. They were on the sidelines in black t-shirts, like Batman henchmen. (Not Done)
3) Death Row Just Watches: Plenty of guys who are going to be cut, stole reps from guys that we may need to contribute if injuries become an issue. This may be viewed as me over-reacting after a third preseason game, but you can’t fake the adrenalin of a real game. Families, friends, and old coaches don’t tune into joint practices. Sirianni had a chance to give that to high level back-ups, and he blew it. (Not Done)
4) Shuffle the Ends: We got the same thing served to us as the last two games. We saw a lot of DE’s Matt Leo and Tarron Jackson. We saw little outside pass rush, and nearly zero run contain. Asking to see OLB’s Genard Avery and Patrick Johnsonget reps at DE remained an ungranted wish. (Not Done)
Again, that’s 0 for 4. Two straight weeks of goose egg, and 2 of 12 this preseason. The result being zero wins. Two weeks from now, I wonder if the Starters will get to play Week One; or if Sirianni will elect to save them for the playoffs. Rock, paper, motherfu-
On The Whole:
Some will see our 31 – 31 tie, and mention this silver lining. We put our bench out against many of the Jets starters, and we didn’t lose. The problem with that is, we got up 24 – 10 and then fell apart 7 – 21, to finish the second half. Not rolling out our best stuff is one thing. Being out-hustled on Special Teams, run over on Defense, and uninspired on Offense, is quite another.
Practice? Sirianni talkin’ ’bout Dual PRACTICE.
At this stage I have no idea where any spirit of competition is supposed to come from. The Starters know that they’re sacred cows, because the back-ups hardly showed anything, across three straight weeks. In fact, the only player looking over his shoulder at this point, might be QBJalen Hurts. Is he the starter yet? I’m kidding! I’m KIDDING! It’s not like the Eagles are going to go out and trade for QB Gardner Minshew. (sigh)
CENSORSHIP is running amok on Facebook. This is mostly an overcompensation for all the illegal stuff that FB was rumored to be letting Russian hackers (cough cough, government agents) get away with, prior to the 2016 Presidential election.
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg had his ass hauled in front of Congress, and now the social media platform is taking down anything that can be misconstrued as bullying, or spreading false information. They’re even going so far as to take down memes and posts from 2017 and earlier. As a result, lots of the funniest shit that you and I ever posted, is coming down.
Since I hate that, I decided to create a running page of rude, sexualized, sometimes blatantly offensive memes, just because I think there should be a place where we ADULTS, can still be treated as such.
And so. Without further ado…
THE OFFENSIVE SHIT!
FB actually flagged me for this one, back when I made it.
LOOK at that! The Bengals have converted their field from grass to mattresses. Not only has it already improved the look of their stadium, but their owner thinks it will extend, or at least not keep shortening, the lifespan of QB Joe Burrow. The team is also asking the league to allow Burrow to wear several pillows duct taped to his helmet. It’s either that or spend the money to protect him.
Steelers LB T.J. Watt increased his sack total for the third straight year in a row. Due to notching 16.5 sacks, he continues to be above criticism. This is despite sporting a missed tackle percentage of over 10 percent, in every season of his career. If only there were some sort of clue about how to fix the defense…
The carriage turned back into a pumpkin, and the horses turned back into rats, as the Browns returned to reality and went 3 – 14 this year.
Somewhere out there is a desperate Browns fan, carrying a clear, platform shoe, and searching for Princess Odell.
Ravens K Justin Tucker’s rap/opera album “Come Kick It Wit’ Me” shot to the top of the Italian pop music charts this year. Sighting how he didn’t need this “NFL boll sheed no mo’ ”, Tucker announced his retirement. After which he flipped the double-bird, as he rode away barefoot in a kiddie pool, which was situated in the bed of an El Camino. There was no water in the pool.
NFC NORTH!
Raise your hand if you predicted the Lions going 14 – 3, getting a first round bye, and winning it all.
“It’s better than drinkable water!” was how one fan described the Detroit Lions Super Bowl parade. Thousands of fans came out to celebrate and cheer their team, not long before tens of thousands of muggers descended on both the fans and the players. The car-jacking of a parade float would be the low-point of the day, and perhaps the lowest in all of American history.
After a just barely failing to qualify for a wild card berth, a 9 – 8 Minnesota team is still unsure if they’re a bad team that frequently overachieves, or a good team that chokes at the slightest sign of true relevance.
As Chicago continues their search for a passer, Bears QB Justin Fields was traded to Buffalo for QB Mitch Trubisky. One Chicago football fan said “Eh, it’s good we went an’got a veteran quarterback now, ‘cause Fields played like a rookie. I mean, why din’t he just look at what Tommy Bradley does in Tampa, then come right out and copy exactly what he saw?How hard could dat be, right?? Anyways, Trubisky sounds like a good Polish name. It feels familiar. I like it.”
After another implosion in the second round of the playoffs, QB Aaron Rodgers is continuing to act like he’s doing Packers fans a favor, by allowing them to overpay him millions more than he’s ever truly deserved. Perhaps Green Bay should have double checked for a discount.
AFC WEST!
After not allowing fans in to SoFi Stadium at all in 2020, the LA Chargers opened their arms to their loyal, fickle, frequently disinterested fan base. In a stadium that seats 70,000, the Chargers drew an average of 28,000 to their games. Somewhere the ghost of Al Davis is laughing so hard, that he’s gasping for air.
Despite being heavily favored by odds-makers, the Raiders Super Bowl loss continues to confound people. Suddenly retired Raider QB Derek Carr, could not be reached for comment as he was out on his yacht. The gold one, not the one made entirely out of stacks of money. His agent Pete Rose also declined comment.
The Chiefs were expected to have a more difficult road, but no one thought they’d miss the playoffs. As a disciplinary measure for yet another violation of team player conduct policy, Andy Reid ate WR Tyreek Hill, prior to the final game of the preseason. When asked if he regretted having eaten the WR, coach Reid responded “Listen, you’d expect athlete meat to be tough, but Tyreek, he was something special. Didn’t even need a marinade. Wait. What was the question?”
The Denver Broncos are trying to decide whether to screw over either another old RB, or another young QB, during this offseason. Either way, it will most certainly cripple the team’s offense next year. Their fans of course, will again feel like they’ve been stabbed directly in the face, when the team spends their top pick on a WR.
NFC WEST!
The 49ers, who paid QB Jimmy Garoppolo 26M$ to sit and watch rookie QB Trey Lance have an up and down year, will still owe Garoppolo 27M$ next year. Worse yet, they likely have to endure at least one more year with him on the roster, as he won’t waive his no-trade clause. That is, unless he gets an offer he likes, from a team that won’t mind him throwing with his eyes closed. Still, the defense was good enough for the team to post a 10 – 7 record.
Seattle RB Rashaad Penny was surprised to learn that the team is declining to pick up his 5th year option. Penny was selected in the first round of the 2018 Draft, but didn’t get his first start until 2021. In that game, he had one carry for 8 broken tackles, and a 63 yard touchdown. It also resulted in a torn hamstring which ended his season. Tore it right off the bone! When asked whether Penny is “a bust”, GM John Schneider, shrieked, burst into tears, and attempted to answer questions. He however, couldn’t be understood through his high-pitched, racking sobs. Seattle predictably bowed out in the second round of the playoffs.
No matter how much talent Arizona adds, sub .500 is the best God will allow. In other news, QB Kyler Murray married the dancing hula girl on the dash board of J.J. Watt’s car.
It was a beautiful ceremony. When Murray stood on a chair to kiss his bride, there wasn’t a dry eye to be seen, according to Stevie Wonder, who was told that he was in attendance.
The Rams added a ton of weapons in the offseason, but neglected to help their offensive line. This led to QB Matt Stafford being lost for the year in Week Two, and also left the run game stuck in neutral since the preseason. Give you one guess what they’ll be taking with their first round pick this year. Oh wait! They won’t have a first rounder this year. Or next year. Dopes.
AFC SOUTH!
After partially tearing the meniscus in his right knee in training camp, it was quickly thought by both QB Carson Wentz and the Colts front office, that the smartest thing would be for Carson to just rest, relax and let that tear take 3 to 5 months to heal on its own. While the Eagles paid him 34 million dollars.
Though Wentz played only half the season, taking just under 50% of the snaps, the Colts almost rallied to make the playoffs, going 7 – 1 with Wentz starting. Pretty smart trade. Especially since Wentz didn’t count against the Colts 2021 salary cap.
On a roster that features RB’s David Johnson, Mark Ingram, and Phillip Lindsay, you probably would never guess who led the team in rushing yards. It was Texans QB Tyrod Taylor, who spent the season running for his goddamned life. In the hopes of not suffering another punctured lung, Taylor racked up a career best 836 yards. Meanwhile, R. Kelly is alleging that QB Deshaun Watson inappropriately… (No. I’m going to draw a line here. Gotta preserve a little class.)
WE WILL SUCK YOUR DICK!!!! That’s the Jaguars latest promotion to get people to come to the stadium. Lord knows no one wants to watch them play football. Look at all the upgrades! Super-fast WiFi, an impressive sound system, they put in a party deck, a pool… They’ve done everything they can to avoid improving the team. Now the team has executives slobbing knobs. And they’re all so bad at it! C’mon folks! More spit, less teeth. This is basic stuff!
The Titans were the favorite to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, until QB Ryan Tannehill tore his Achilles in Week One, and QB DeShone Kizer “Soze” stepped in and killed the whole team. Kizer continued the 0 – 15 magic that he had in Cleveland, going 0 – 7 before being benched for QB Logan Woodside… who then promptly tore his ACL, meaning that Kizer would come back out, and finish the season. Kizer went 0 – 15 (again), even though he also lost the two games started by other QB’s.
NFC SOUTH.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have increased their reward for information about head coach Bruce Arian’s whereabouts. Police are looking at DT Ndamukong Suh as a person of interest because, well… Because he’s fucking Ndamukong Suh! I mean come on!
With the retirement of QB Drew Brees last year, the Saints 6 – 11 season shows that they have gone back to being the hapless, talent squandering, afterthoughts that have historically always been. Fans are taking it well, saying that their relevance was nice while it lasted.
The Falcons 5 – 12 record was predicted immediately after they traded WR Julio Jones to Tennessee last year. For a team with no defense, keeping Jones to go with their other weapons, would have made outscoring opponents easy. But Atlanta said “Fuck that!” and thew their easy button out of a tenth floor window. Nowwww look at them. Just look. SMDH.
Panthers RB Christian McCaffrey spent this season being 25 going on 35. Bouncing back from an injury, while being the focal point of an offense, with a QB trying to re-hab himself from having been a Jet, did no favors for McCaffrey. His 663 yards in 10 starts, will likely have the Panthers spending yet another late round draft pick on a RB, who is ill-suited to ever being a starter. Or a contributor. These guys just can’t learn.
AFC EAST!
The NFL finally made good on its threat to banish the Jets, who can no longer be referred to, as a “professional” football team. As the NCAA has not yet agreed to take them, the Jets have no official league designation yet. The CFL hasn’t offered a verbal or written response as to whether the Jets can seek asylum in Canada. However, the CFL’s pursed lips and side-eye, have offered a very strong hint about where they stand on the issue.
Bill Belichick has coached his last game for the Patriots. He is expected to take the job in Tampa Bay, after coach Bruce Arians suddenly went missing. QB Tom Brady is telling Congress that they cannot search his house.
Buffalo WR and anti-vaxxer Cole Beasley is recovering from the Delta variant of Covid-19. Luckily his access to the best medical treatment that NFL money can buy, put the odds for a full recovery, heavily in his favor. His wife Krystin however, was not an NFL employee. Get vaccinated.
After having changed his name from Jomal Wiltz to Jamal Perry in 2020, the IRS caught up with the Dolphins CB anyway. This goes to show, if you’re going to change your name, do it before you’re on television at least 17 times a year.
NFC EAST!!!
For the second year in a row, Washington won 7 games! While their 8 losses are fewer than the 9 from a year ago, their 2 ties offer little in the way of optimism. Because of that, there is currently a split in their fan base. Half of their fans argue that the 7 – 8 – 2 team, is an 8 – 8 team (“Because two half wins, equals one whole one. Dummy!”). Meanwhile, other half of their fan base sees the team as 7 – 8, and thus improved over 7 – 9 (“Because thems two ties cancels theyselves out. Stupid!”). Either way, the rest of us just see a degenerate, losing team that missed the playoffs.
The giants didn’t have to depend on a division rival to get to the playoffs this year, because they used StubHub! They got a great price, on great seats, and watched the Lions model the sort of franchise New York hopes to become. Maybe next year the giants won’t go 5 – 12, and they’ll qualify for a playoff berth on their own. Hey! The giants in the playoffs! Look at me! I got jokes!
The Cowboys went 12 – 5 and easily won their division. With a 5,000 yard passer, a 1,700 yard rusher, and THREE 1,000 yard receivers, right out of the gate, Dallas took the NFL by storm. Which is why their first round dismantling in the playoffs was so surprising. The 41 – 6 walloping at the hands of QB Joe Flacco, will forever be known in NFL circles as “The Dall-Ass Whipping”.
The Carson Wentz trade didn’t yield the Eagles a first round pick, and QB Jalen Hurtswas so bad that he was benched by Week Nine. Also, Head Coach Nick Sirianni retiring mid-season to join a professional Rochambeau league, didn’t surprise as many people as you’d think.
After which the hapless Eagles managed to rally and stumble into the playoffs as a wild card. At which point they utterly shelled the Cowboys 41 – 6, before losing to Detroit in the second round.
DISCLAIMER: If you use this article for gambling or betting purposes, you’re an idiot and your money is safer with other people. Don’t be dunce. Stop gambling on sports.
HOWIE is likely going to be fired, if QB Jalen Hurts doesn’t play like a potential star in 2021. Despite what some fans thought about QB Carson Wentz, Owner Jeff Lurie knew he had a bonafide Franchise QB, and that those are difficult to find. Still, General ManagerHowie Roseman, convinced Lurie to trade the bird in his hand, for a QB factory in the bush.
There’s a high-stakes game going on, folks! Don’t miss the real action.
This isn’t about Hurts or Wentz. It never was. It’s about the “QB factory” that Howie later regretted mentioning: “Of some of the things that I’ve done this season, I certainly regret that comment about quarterback factory,” Roseman said. “Really it was just in terms of how — the importance of the position around the league, the importance of the position to this organization and really a reflection of our experiences with backup quarterbacks when we did that.”
Notice that he didn’t say that he regrets the idea, or the concept. He said that he regrets the comment. He regrets that he slipped and revealed to us, what was really on his mind. He regrets that we know. This was never about one player over another. It’s about a philosophy.
The Hurts pick is about transforming the QB position into just another position.
By default of how long it takes to develop a QB, they are a huge investment. So the ones with the best raw traits, come at a premium at the top of drafts. Few of those pan out, so it naturally skyrockets the price when a proven, young, veteran QB hits the open market. It’s why teams do everything they can, to keep those proven, young, veteran QB’s from hitting the open market. Often overpaying them.
The NFL was able to control other positions by killing off the idea of star players, who are true specialists:
Star RB’s became RB by committee.
The FB, H-Back, and blocking TE positions are practically extinct.
True #1 WR’s became more expendable with the adoption of Spread concepts.
On defense, players without a hard designation are becoming the norm. Whether it’s all of these CB/S, or those 215 – 220 pound LB/S tweeners, or the Edge players… None of that used to be how football worked, even 10 years ago. None of it.
The QB position is harder to redefine and control, but it must be done. And it must happen SOON.
The NFL needs to find a way to quickly develop QB’s who can be productive, not just to control investment costs (like draft capital), and operating costs (like contract terms), but so that the QB position can be platooned. Yes, platooned. Think about Hurts and Wentz. Or Drew Brees and QB Taysom Hill. Think about Tim Tebow now back in the NFL, at 33.
This is an experiment to figure out how best to phase out the “every game” starter. Instead, coming up with something more akin to a baseball starting pitcher. A guy who’s relied on only to start a percentage of the games, instead of all of them. Sure you’ll have an Ace, but he won’t be your Franchise.
If the NFL doesn’t do this, there is no way that they can expand beyond 18 regular season games in a season. Also, do you see the contract that QB Pat Mahomes signed? Or the one that QB Dak Prescott signed, despite owner Jerry Jones admitted to overpaying? Platooned QB’s would have far less leverage at the bargaining table.
That’s where Hurts comes in. Hurts was drafted “sort of” high. Right on the heels of Wentz winning a division, after having put practice squanders on his back. With a franchise QB like Wentz, drafting Hurts made no sense.
Then packages were added to get Hurts on the field early in his career, despite that fact that it ruins a starting QB’s rhythm. Disrupting our Franchise QB’s rhythm made no sense.
Suddenly Wentz became a turnover machine, when taking care of the ball had been the absolute cornerstone of his career. Yet no serious adjustments were ever made to help him. (I even wrote about it back in November of 2020.) That also made no sense.
Except in hindsight, all of it makes perfect sense. It’s an experiment. The Eagles made sure they started with a good, but not franchise quality QB (lower draft capital). The speed of the game is what young players say takes the most time to adapt to. So Hurts was spoon-fed a little time here and a little time there, until the game slowed down for him.
Understand, this is the Eagles version of the experiment, but the entire league has a stake in it. Trust and believe that many eyes follow this. Roseman’s experiment requires Hurts to not just play, but start. So, Wentz was removed from the equation. He had to be. Now Hurts is front and center, and barring a preseason injury, he will start.
That all being said, if Hurts turns out to be the formula, and the QB factory opens in Philadelphia, Jeff Lurie will be the guy who hired the inventor of “The (NFL) Process”. However, if Hurts fails, Lurie will have been talked into spending years of investment money, on a single spin of Roulette. That likely means Roseman would be fired.
High-stakes game going on, folks! Don’t get caught missing the real action.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!??? What the fuck is a Week 14 Bye?! We play FIVE, count ‘em FIVE, games in October, three of which are road games.
Here’s our October:
We start with a home game vs the Chiefs, probably getting kicked in the nuts before we head down to Carolina, in what should be a coin flip. Then on a short week, we get Tampa Bay. We follow that with a plane to Vegas, then back home to practice, then a plane to Detroit. All in a span of 28 days.
Unless we can make some hay in November, we might be already circling the drain by the time our Bye Week gets here.
What the fuck is a Week 14 Bye?! Will someone tell me that!?! Who the fuck does that to someone? “Easiest schedule” my wide, hairy ass! I hope the NFL schedule makers get uncontrollable diarrhea in a traffic jam.
The worst part is, that not knowing this coaching staff, it’s impossible to look at the schedule and forecast any W’s. At least with real confidence. It was already an uncertain year, but this schedule feels like someone handed a drowning man an anchor.
CAN you remember when you were less excited for a Draft? Unless you served in Vietnam, the answer is probably ‘No’. If I wasn’t as obsessive about this event as I am about Christmas, I might not even know that it was happening this week. Things are low-key in Philly for a reason. What exactly are you looking forward to? Most fans expect disaster.
Most Eagles fans expect General Manager Howie Roseman to blow the whole thing to shit in the first place. Mostly because there’s no voice of reason to say “Hey Stupid, don’t be stupid”, because the guy we have coaching the team, is off somewhere playing paper/rock/scissors, or Uno, or trying to guess the number of jelly beans in jar, with Draft prospects. Meanwhile the owner is thinking that France is looking pretty good right now.
All this, so we can draft another QB at 12th overall, and immediately name him as the starter. Eagles fans smirked at that, but it wasn’t a fun smirk. It was that smirk you do when you’re on the expressway, during a traffic jam, and your stomach makes a (gurgle) noise that tells you that “Until further notice, NO fart is to be trusted!”
If you could buy stock in anxiety, Eagles fans would make you fortune this week.
We pick 12th overall, after moving down 6 spots to pick up an extra first rounder next year. Some fans gave Howie crap for that. I thought the move was rather shrewd. The sort of move you want from a GM. Especially if who we want, is expected to be there at 12 or a little later. This should be idiot-proof.
Then came news that the Eagles now wanted to move back, up. (Wait what?) This is a move that will likely cost us a first rounder. Yes! From next year. So then why did… Has anyone ever done something so stupid, that it made you tick off the progression of events on your fingers? Almost as if you were counting? Howie does this to me. He perplexes me. He vexes me.
Again, this should ALL be idiot-proof!
The Eagles however, employ an advanced species of idiot. One that is capable of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Of complicating the process of falling down. Howie Roseman is no ordinary, run-of-the-mill idiot. He is their Alpha. Their Omega! He is why we’re going to draft a Long Snapper in the first round.
Nah. I’m over-reacting. First round picks are simple, right? Two words:
Danny Watkins.
(Gurgle.)
We pick 12th. If we don’t want a QB, and can’t get TE Kyle Pitts, we should still be in pretty good shape to get a year one, impact player. Maybe a CB who locks down half of our Secondary. Or a WR that changes the dynamic of the entire Offense. All we have to do is NOT, suddenly decide to trade out of the first round. Right??
LET’S have a conversation that no one is having right now. Just how bad is QB Carson Wentz’s back? It occurs to me that the Eagles concerns may be more physical than mental. Which would also explain why the team drafted QB Jalen Hurts as high as they did, before there was even a whisper of Wentz struggling.
Let’s run the clock back to December 2018. Wentz was diagnosed with a stress fracture of his vertebrae, and though he could have played and wanted to, the Eagles elected to shelve him and let the fracture heal without surgery.
In 2019 Wentz started all 16 games, posted a 9 – 7 mark, threw for 4,000 yards, 27 TD, just 7 picks, while leading an injury decimated team to a division win. Given what he had to work with, or more accurately, what he didn’t have to work with, it could be argued that 2019 may have been Wentz’s best football so far. No one ever mentioned his back.
In a corner, on his knees, between his numbers. I cannot BEGIN to describe the level of difficulty on this throw. Then there’s the balls to even attempt it, and the rare ability to actually complete it.
Still, despite Wentz’s 2019 season, the Eagles took a QB in the second round of 2020’s Draft. Fans hated the pick when it happened. Entering Training Camp, we saw a beefier Carson Wentz. While there was a little bit of “Dad” in his middle, his shoulders and chest looked like he’d been really putting in time with the weights.
Unlike other positions, quarterbacks and aggressive weightlifting usually don’t mix well. Increasing shoulder and bicep density, has a way of altering throwing mechanics. Often unpredictably. This subject came up at the very beginning of camp, but none of us held onto it, nor even revisited it when Wentz struggled this year.
Adding up everything, the 2018 back injury, the career full of short yardage scrums, the more aggressive running in 2020, the 87 sacks over the last 2 seasons, not to mention the contortions that he goes through whenever he escapes a sack… You have to wonder if there is anything to know about Wentz’s back.
As a subject that no one is discussing, it’s of course going to generate zero questions, and zero articles. (Unless you’re smart enough to read here.) That gives the Eagles a chance to sell possibly damaged goods, (or goods predicted to have a shorter shelf-life), to a team that doesn’t do enough due diligence.
I have no inside information on this, and I’m not looking to start a rumor. I however AM still trying to understand the drafting of Hurts. Wentz didn’t struggle last year. So why the urgency in drafting a QB? Some point to his injury history and say, “Insurance Policy”. Truthfully, I said the same thing. At first.
If you just need a guy to fill in for a few games, a free agent veteran will do. Hell, just keeping QB Nate Sudfeld would’ve done! But to draft a QB in the second round? After your Franchise guy just showed the world why he’s the Franchise guy? Like I said, that trigger was pulled BEFORE Wentz struggled. They didn’t get him a tool, they got him competition.
Quarterback factory. Factory. That means that the Eagles intend to produce something they can sell. Merch they can move. So are the Eagles about to be in the business of selling lemons? Or are we about to start churning out MVP capable QB’s, and then shipping them to opponents? It’ll be interesting to see Howie do this. (See what I did there?)
Carson, yet again trying to give a ball away. Dammit Wentz! LMAO!
SHOULD the Eagles bench QB Carson Wentz? If you answered “Yes” to that question, you may be suffering from a severe case of Stupidity. Wait, no. That’s never how it actually works. Everyone else around you,may be suffering from your severe case of Stupidity.
Remember hating WR Nelson Agholor for years? Remember calling him a bum? Remember who didn’t? That would be me. Remember hating MLB Jordan “Cowboy Killer” Hicks for being injured all the time? Remember who didn’t? That would also be me. Remember hating CB Sidney Jones and CB Rasul Douglas? And again, guess who didn’t?
How are those players looking these days? Hey, to all of you who wanted us to keep QB Nick Folesover Wentz, how is Foles working out as a starter? What is he now, 2 – 8? 2 – 9? Just to rub salt in a wound, this February, I also said in THE 12 that we should have paid SS Malcolm Jenkins? Here’s the link.
Clearly, I don’t suffer from Stupidity. Instead, I have a condition known as “Guru”. It causes me to look “down the line”, and assess before I speak. Which means, you should listen to me.
Now some of you are saying that Wentz should ride pine, because he’s having a shitty season. And it’s true, on most levels, it truly is a spectacular shit-storm of a season. It is however, only one bad season. Feel free to take a minute and look back at his career to confirm that.
Now for some math. Because I know you LOVES the Maths!
In June of 2019, Wentz signed a 4 year extension worth 128M$, with 107M$ guaranteed, and 66M$ being fully guaranteed through 2021. The Eagles can get out of the deal after 2021, if they’re willing to eat 24M$ in dead money, in 2022. That’s because Wentz has no guaranteed salary after 2021. His remaining guaranteed money is all bonus money. He has another 63M$ in pre-arranged base salaries through 2024, but not a dime of those salaries are guaranteed.
My point is, Eagles team owner Jeff Lurie is on the hook to Wentz for another 60M$ even after this 2020 season ends. Lost revenue from the COVID affected 2020 season, is threatening to shrink the NFL salary cap from 198M in 2020, to (an estimated) 186M in 2021. So for at least the next two years, Wentz will represent 12 – 18% of the Eagles salary cap. Whether he’s on the roster or not.
To relate this to you: If you had a $1,000 budget, what service would you agree to spend $120 – $180 on, if you were no longer getting that service? Oh, and keep in mind, you’d also have to pay for a replacement service at the same time. This is what fans think Lurie should do.
So here’s the 60M$ question: Would Lurie pay Wentz 34M to sit and watch football in 2021, and then 24M while on someone else’s roster in 2022? No. Not on your life. So Wentz is your 2020 AND your 2021 starter. As well as your likely starter in 2022.
Take notice of how nervous Head Coach Doug Pederson appears. Also take notice of how agitated, but otherwise calm, Wentz appears. In this business, franchise QB’s are far harder to find than a decent head coach. Especially with a guy like Assistant Head Coach Duce Staleywaiting in the wings. (Oh, you hadn’t considered that, had you?)
Duce would NOT be a pass-happy coach.
QB Jalen Hurts was brought here to keep asses in the seats, if Wentz gets seriously injured. That’s it. If Wentz gives the Eagles a medical reason to opt out, there’s a very talented insurance policy already on the roster.
Aside from that, Wentz is your starter. Definitely through 2021, but possibly until his deal runs out in 2024, when he’ll only be 32, and still carry a very friendly cap-hit of 32M$.
THE WIN STREAK CONTINUES!!! After having won the Super Bowl 21 weeks ago, the Eagles chose not to end the season, and keep going from city to city, pounding on doors and picking fights GAMES, against other franchises. After having played every team in the league already, this week we’re trying to instigate a second game against the Jets.
Last week’s 60 – 26 squeaker over the Falcons, allowed the Eagles to give some of our fans a chance to takes a few snaps. QB Carson Wentzcontinues to riddle secondaries with touchdowns, in between jugs of Muscle Milk and weightlifting on the sideline. The Jets utter inability to stop the run will be handily exploited this week, with RB Miles Sanders running behind recently converted FBJordan Mailata.
No longer playing for the Lombardi. (Got it). Not really playing for the money. (More is already on the way.) These Eagles are playing for pride. Specifically to take someone else’s away. When they finally lose a game, the team has promised to shut it down. Until then…
The point of Four Things isn’t to predict a winner, it’s to discuss which tactics will practically guarantee our Eagles this win. CAUTION: I don’t have the faintest clue as to what a point spread is, and I know even less about how it works. I know football and that’s IT. If you use FT as a gambling tool, you are trying to lose your money.
So let’s talk about the Four Things we need to focus on this week versus the Jets :
1) No biting: Let’s not have another Denver Incident. (Hey Carson, everyone knows you have his ear. We saw you take it. It’s on video tape. Video tape! Just give it back, and we can finally say that our National Nightmare has come to an end.
2) Eliminate penalties:We don’t need a repeat of Head Coach Doug Pederson being flagged for semi-naked taunting. (As he was several times last week.)
3) Fewer points allowed: Please stop spotting teams 20 points before kickoff. If the game hasn’t started, there shouldn’t be a score. Much less a score of 0 – 20. It just looks weird. Please stop doing this.
4) Use the scoreboard: Video of DT Fletcher Cox being invited into the homes of opposing coaches (by their wives), always seems to make it hard for opponents to focus on a strategy, or make adjustments. Keep doing this.
If we do all these things we should win, with a score looking like…
PREDICTION: EAGLES 84 – Jets 6
Check back in a couple of days for Four Things Reviewed, and we’ll discuss how it went.
REMEMBER during the 2020 Draft, Eagles GM Howie Roseman said that he wanted the Eagles to be a “QB factory”. Well the first product to roll off the line may be QB Nate Sudfeld. Regrettably the Eagles only have Sudfeld under contract for 2020, so we won’t get anything for him, but the Dallas Cowboys seem like the most likely 2021 landing spot for him.
Currently Dallas is embroiled in a fruitless standoff with free agent QB Dak Prescott. The Cowboys slapped a 31M$ franchise tag on him, as a counter to his unconfirmed request of over 40M$ per year. The two sides are so far apart, that unless one side caves completely, you can just about bet that Prescott won’t sign the tag, and has already played his last down as a Cowboy.
I’m guessing it tops out at about 33 million?
At this rate, this time next year will see Prescott in another jersey, and the Cowboys will be in search of a new franchise QB. Unless they tank in 2020, they likely won’t have a shot at one in the 2021 Draft. So their search might take years. Unless they hit upon another QB like Tony Romo (undrafted free agent), or Prescott (4th rounder). Right?
Wrong.
Problem with bargain basement QB’s is that they tend to yield bargain basement playoff success. Romo and Prescott have a combined 3 – 6 playoff record. Neither ever made it past the Divisional round while they were a Cowboy. QUICK! Where was Hall of Fame QB Troy Aikman selected? Oh that’s right! He was a #1 overall pick in 1989. He also won three Super Bowls.
So don’t expect much from the Cowboys trying to take a shortcut. Bargain basement effort, yields bargain basement returns.Top-shelf is on the top shelf for a reason. Reaching for anything else…is just settling. And unless 3 – 6 is your style, settling ain’t winning.
Next year the Cowboys will need a QB, and the guy they’re trying to short-change, will have an easier time finding job, than the Cowboys will of finding a new QB. That will leave the Cowboys with options like what’s left of Cam Newton or Phillip Rivers, Jacoby Brissett (not a bad option), Andy Dalton, Mitch Trubisky, Jameis Winston, or Nate Sudfeld. Folks, those are the highlights of the 2021 QB free agent market.
But Nate Sudfeld? Why Nate Sudfeld and not those other guys?
If the Cowboys are going to start looking for a franchise QB, they can only go one of two routes: A) Hand the keys to a rookie and roll the dice, or B) Develop a QB, to give him a bonafide chance to succeed. Picking door #1 could yield any result. Door #2 however, is a process. That’s where they would need Nate, specifically.
To develop a QB, a team has to do it from a point of stability. So they first need to start out with a QB who they can rely on if the new guy is a dud. So they’d need youth. Not raw youth, because then their older free agents won’t stick around to lose games, thus creating holes that will cost more draft picks. He also can’t be so bad that fans will scream for the young guy, well before he’s ready.
They’ll also need the QB to be relatively inexpensive. This is because getting some of those older FA’s to stay, will mean overpaying them. A young QB needs stability around him. Constant change has wasted plenty of promising QB talent. Right, RG3?
The final ingredient, is a guy that fans will let a team move on from, once that young gun is ready for the job. So while a guy like Brissett may look appealing from the get-go, you don’t want him accidentally growing on your fan base.
Nate Sudfeld was almost cooked up in a lab to be the Cowboys 2021 starter. Not a heavyweight, but not a lightweight. He’s been well-coached, isn’t too expensive, not an injury risk, has prototypical build, strong enough arm, comes from a winning culture, and might bring a wealth of intel about the enemy. Comb that list up there, and you’ll see that no one even comes close.
So why is an Eagles fan so giddy over the thought of Nate going there? Because the Cowboys will almost certainly not opt for developing a QB. Even if they do, the process takes a couple of years. That means barring a miracle after 2020, a division rival is out of the running for a minimum of two years. Longer if they get their gamble wrong.
Oh by the way. Keep in mind that ALL OF THIS is balanced against the ticking of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones’s biological clock. So they will feel obligated to rush all of this. And people in a big rush, always do stupid things. Sometimes VERY stupid, costly things.
Damn. If only we’d signed Nate to a two year deal.
EAGLEMANIACAL.com 