THIS one is directed at our Defense. We need to bring the pain on every tackle. Sometimes recklessly. Sometimes drawing flags, fines, and suspensions. Every time an opponent jogs off the field on Sunday, when they look at their schedule and see PHILADELPHIA next, their shoulders should sag a little.
“It’s about sending a message.”
Football has Rugby at the core of it’s DNA. That in itself makes it an inherently violent game. Despite what old, rich men who never played may think, you can’t legislate the violence out of football. Just like you can’t legislate blood from a bullet wound. It’s just part of the package.
The Eagles are in re-build mode. Go ‘head, say it. Don’t be afraid of the word. Re-build. That means veterans like DT Fletcher Cox, and DE Brandon Graham will be phased out, beginning either this year or next year. Soon either way. Especially given that we have a new coaching staff coming in.
As old faces step out, new ones will be stepping in. More importantly, young faces already on the roster will have to start stepping up, and showing the rest of the NFL who they are. Particularly here in the NFC East, where most years we don’t have a division winner, we have a division survivor.
This is a physically tough division, in part because Philadelphia, Washington, and New York are East Coast teams that get cold weather. Wind off of water. Snow and ice. Temperatures that turn a football into a rock, thrown at you by a friend. So rushing is key to winning this division. Which automatically means that tackling is key to stopping opponents.
Whether it’s a RB getting stoned at the line of scrimmage, a receiver being lit up in the middle of the field, or a QB being concussed during a sack. We need to make every opponent understand that PHILADELPHIA week, isn’t the week to skip their insurance payments.
Remember these guys?
Opponents used to HATE playing here! From coaches putting bounties on Kickers, to defenders trying to maul you. From the turf that ate knees and whole careers, to the fans who prepared for games by not taking their meds. EVERYTHING about playing against Philadelphia seemed like a bio-hazard, because when you played against Philadelphia, you played against PHILADELPHIA.
We need to recapture that edge. And we can start by making sure that we bring the pain on every tackle.
EAGLES QB Carson Wentz was traded to the Indianapolis Colts on February 18th, 2021. At that point, all talk of the drama could cease. The was nothing left to do for the Eagles organization and fans, but look towards the future.
With that in mind, I stepped back and observed. I watched. I listened. I waited to see what the new coach envisioned for the team. I waited to see what the fans would chatter excitedly over.
Two excruciating weeks have dripped by, and there’s been practically nothing about the team. Most peculiarly, from the organization itself. It’s 3:04a.m., March 4th as I write this, and these are stories on the Eagles website:
Now don’t get me wrong. I understand not tipping your hand, but to say nothing? Are they telling us that no one, has an encouraging word for presumed starting QB Jalen Hurts? Are they telling us that “Where Are They Now?” articles are more important than “This Year’s Break-out Player Will Be” articles?
Aside from my THE 12 series, there doesn’t seem to be much passion for football in this city, anymore. Sad. Maybe we traded it away on February 18th.
NOW that the Carson Wentzsaga has concluded, everyone is staring directly at new Head Coach, Nick Sirianni, and expecting him to have detailed answers on how we’re going to not end up 4th in the division this year. Whatever those answers are, this team is going to need spokesmen to pitch it, not just in the locker room, but outside of it.
Under Doug Pederson, the Eagles voices to the public were most often DE Brandon Graham, S Malcolm Jenkins, S/CB Jalen Mills, and C Jason Kelce. All of which were outspoken and who brought and energy of enthusiasm to interviews.You always felt that these guys were totally “bought in” to what the coaches were preaching. Pederson’s program had great salesmen.
Sirianni needs to find salesmen who bring both energy, and verbal agility to promoting the team. Jenkins left before last year, Kelce keeps hinting at retiring, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Mills will be shown the door. Graham would seem a likely candidate, but he may become a cap casualty. TE Zach Ertz would be a great pick, but he won’t be here so…
When the time comes for Sirianni to have answers, he’s going to need players to sell fans on the notion that things are going as planned. He’ll need players that fans find credible. He’ll need players who the locker room won’t tune out, or dismiss as a coach’s pet. There aren’t a lot of great options on the roster, but THE 12 is making do, with what we have.
Ideally with Sirianni being an offensive guy, you’d want an offensive player. QB Jalen Hurts would be one of the default options. Provided that he ends up being the starter. WRJalen Reagorseems ill at ease, and almost annoyed when talking with the press.
Possible candidates would be RB Miles Sanders, TE Dallas Goedert, and LB Alex Singleton. Sanders is animated and personable. Goedert gives quick answers and remembers to smile, but he doesn’t usually help steer the discussion. Singleton brings energy and enthusiasm, and unlike the other two, promotes the team beyond parroting company lines.
Getting everyone to buy into what the new coach is selling, (once he knows what it is), would help him out immensely. Besides, this new regime is going to need strong voices. Just in case the Eagles luck runs out, and we finally have to face some adversity. You know, injury bugs, locker room divides, lunatic accountants who are allowed to run a whole franchise into the ground, because he either gives spectacular blowjobs, or has video of owner Jeff Lurie hanging out with Jeffery Epstein and Jerry Sandusky.
HE’S a diva! He’s babied! He’s uncoachable! He hates Doug Pederson! He’s insubordinate! He wants out of Philadelphia! Why is it that everyone with something bad to say about QB Carson Wentz, isn’t man enough to own his words?
We’ve been reading rumors for over two years now, but strangely, everyone is afraid go on record. I could understand if Carson had gotten a coach fired in the past. Or if he’d gotten WR Alshon Jeffery (largely suspected of being a rumor source) booted off the team. But none of that has ever happened.
On the field, we see a guy with an injury history, playing as hard as we’ve seen ANY QB play. (And yes I’m including Jim Kelly.) We don’t see Carson arguing with teammates on the sideline. When he congratulates them, they don’t pull away from him, or give him the cold shoulder. We watched him give QB Jalen Hurts pointers, even after being benched. We watched that!
So what’s with this “other” Carson Wentz that we keep reading about, but that no one can give us proof of? I have a theory about that.
Carson Wentz is boring. Especially if you’re a sportswriter in a city known for colorful personalities. Like Andy Reid, Carson goes about his business, and then… You don’t hear from him. It’s football, family, and his Audience Of 1 food truck(s). Unless the local scribes want to write about Carson’s love for God (and they don’t), he’s of no use to them. Put bluntly, Carson doesn’t sell papers or generate clicks.
That is, until the media creates a situation where they can portray him as a bad guy. Ah-ha! Now they can challenge him, even force him, to defend his name. Except he doesn’t. He never responds to these rumors. He knows who he is, and he truly has no interest in the circus. Thus, he doesn’t participate in it. Ever. Which is only more infuriating for the media.
Remember the trade that NFL.com reporter Adam Schefter said Carson wanted? Here’s the link to refresh your memory. Remember when Schefter had to walk that shit back, because it wasn’t true? Here’s that link too. Remember when ESPN reporter Chris Mortensen said that Carson would force a trade? Here’s one more link. Since Pederson was fired, Mortensen has been eerily quiet on the subject of Carson Wentz. How ‘bout that?! Carson doesn’t respond. He just lets the truth find it’s own way to us.
Carson had nothing to say about last year’s rumors, and had even less to say about this year’s speculation. In fact, he’s been radio silent since his December 6th benching at Green Bay. He did skip his year-end exit interview with then Head Coach Doug Pederson, and the local media took off running with that.
Now don’t get me wrong, that move says a ton. But it says so much, that it’s important to clarify EXACTLY what Carson himself, meant by it. His intentions are subject to speculation by us fans. His intentions are not subject to speculation by reporters who are supposed to report facts.
Just as the media is taking liberties by speculating on his intent, I suspect that they may also be exaggerating some of his teammate’s comments. Any statement by an “anonymous source” allows the media to write whatever they like, however they like, while avoiding “lying” specifically.
Let me give you an example from NFL.com itself. This is an excerpt from yesterday’s Michael Silver article. This is his interpretation of an Aaron Rodgers quote, after losing to Tampa Bay. Keep in mind, this section was copy and pasted, with no alteration by me, save for the orange font color:
And when he spoke, I believe he delivered a message to his bosses, one I’d roughly translate thusly: Your way of doing business has to change, or maybe I should be on my way.
“[There are] a lot of guys’ futures that are uncertain,” Rodgers told reporters, “myself included. That’s what’s sad about it most … getting this far. Obviously there’s going to be an end to it at some point, whether we make it past this one or not. Just the uncertainties, (it) is tough, and the finality of it.”
In that quote, Rodgers says dick about the Packers way of doing business. Also, at no point does he suggest that he would leave. Silver entirely ignores both the text, and the subtext of Rodgers words, in order to superimpose his own. Sadly, fans will buy it because a guy at NFL.com wrote it!
There’s an awful lot of character assassination going on, based solely on rumor, from people who are supposed to be experts at verification, and factual reporting. Yet they keep coming up snake-eyes on facts. And as long as we keep letting them substitute rumor for scoop (or letting John Clark get away with reporting what he sees on ESPN) this will keep happening.
Damned shame when a fan/blogger has higher operating standards than professional journalists.
SEASON Reviews are usually done at the end of the season. A few are also done at the halfway mark. Starting in 2017, Eaglemaniacal.com began treating the season like a game, and breaking it into four quarters. Since football is a hard sport, we’ll take a hard look at where our team currently stands, in relation to where it started. Then we can discuss where it needs to go next.
STATUS: 4 – 11 – 1, 4th in the NFC East
W New Orleans Saints 12 – 4
L Arizona Cardinals 8 – 8
L Dallas Cowboys 6 – 10
L Washington Uhhh… 7 – 9
Due to events in, and inside ofour Nation’s Capitol last week, I delayed putting this article out. I imagined that you’d be too preoccupied with the real world, to give much of a damn about a report like this. That is the ONLY reason that I was able to get on here and make some edits, after learning about the firing of Head Coach Doug Pederson today.
Initially I was going to put a positive spin on missing the playoffs, and getting such a high draft pick. I wasn’t going to bullshit you, just make sure that we didn’t overlook the opportunity that being in this position affords us.
Then the firing happened.
Pederson during his tenure here, has a 42 – 37 – 1 record.
He also has a Super Bowl win, chased by three years of injuries being the excuse for diminishing results. Put another way, taking out this last season (his worst), and the SB season (his best), Pederson is 25 – 23 (.520) as a head coach. For perspective, lets look at Andy Reid’ first 5 years here.
Take out Reid’s best and worst year and you still end up with a 34 – 14 (.708) head coach. So it’s not hard to see why instead of giving Pederson the increased control that he sought, Eagles owner Jeffery Lurie, would want to opt out of the partnership.
QB – (D): This quarter Jalen Hurtshas produced 8 TD’s and 5 turnovers. If you can get him outside the pocket and moving to his right, he’s dangerous. In any other instance, he becomes a liability. What’s worse, teams seem to have already figured this out. His season finale against Washington featured him running for 2 scores, but passing 7/20 (35%), 72 yards and a pick. Nate Sudfeld saw the field for a 18 snaps in Week 17, and he looked like a guy who’d seen no snaps until Week 17.
RB – (D): In the last four games of the season, Miles Sanders’ rushing yards have gone from 115, to 64, to 57, to 0. To be fair, he was benched for the last game (Tankgate). Still, it doesn’t look good that his production has declined steadily, since Cars… Never mind. Hey, how about Boston Scott? What can I say? He started Week 17, and now we’re picking 6th overall. Well alriiiiiiight!
WR – (D): During this 4 week stretch, DeSean Jacksongraced Eagles fans with an 81 yard curtain call against Dallas. On 5 targets, 4 catches, 100 yards and TD, Alshon Jeffery showed he can still do, what it is we brought him here to do in the first place. Both will be gone next season. On the other hand, none of the young guys has emerged as a future go-to guy. Jalen Reagor hasn’t seen a 50 yard day since Week 11. Greg Ward is averaging 7.9 yards per catch, and Travis Fulgham has been on a milk carton since the Week 9 Bye.
TE – (D): The Eagles have spent the season trying to sell us Dallas Goedert as a #1, but he lacks the explosiveness or dynamism for the role. He’s Robin, not Batman. He’s like a bigger, stronger Jay Novacek. Zack Ertz had a miserable final quarter, catching 10 of 23 targets (43%) for 126 yards. In fact, his season ends with him posting a 50% catch rate for the year, and seeing his targets drop from 135 in 2019, to 72 in 2020. (But we all know what that was about.) Still, his numbers won’t make it easy for him to find a team looking pay big money to a 30 year old who’s been nicked up lately.
OT – (C): Jordan Mailata has been receiving high praise these last few weeks at LT. Some are saying that he’s the future of the spot. (I guess folks have forgotten about Andre Dillard?) Matt Pryor is trash on the edge. He’s serviceable when moved inside, but outside, pure garbage. Jack Driscollwasn’t great either, but he was a rookie, and we lost him for the year, so why sweat it?
G – (D): Isaac Seumalohas consistently lined up on the left for seven straight weeks. Hasn’t meant much, but during this quarter, he did finally play in his only win of the season. That’s 1 win in 9 starts this year. I’m just gonna leave that right there. Nate Herbighas been serviceable on the right side. (He looked better on the left though.)
C – (B): Jason Kelce kept the line together as best he could.
DE – (B): Brandon Graham despite playing an increased percentage of the snaps in the last two games, still fell short of his goal of 10 sacks this season. He got one vs Dallas, but otherwise, he really seemed to wear down as the season went on. Derek Barnett missed the last two games and didn’t impose himself in the last tow that he played. Josh Sweat had two sacks and FF vs New Orleans, was hurt early the next week, and then was injured for the final two games of the quarter. Vinny Curry started the final two games and had his strongest quarter of the season. This position did a decent job of bringing pressure, but with lax coverage behind them, they couldn’t translate into sacks and three and outs. Genard Avery played in the last three games as a rotation player, but the Eagles still don’t have a plan for him.
DT – (B): Fletcher Cox was Fletcher Cox, until a stinger vs Dallas shut his season down. Javon Hargrave stepped up in Cox’s absence and seemed to be a lot more disruptive than in the prior three quarters. He seemed more comfortable. I hope to see he and Cox return in 2021. Malik Jackson put up 12 tackles and a sack, during this quarter. That’s despite only starting one of the games. Undrafted rookie Raequan Williams made his presence felt, in very limited action. T.Y. McGill got a lot of snaps in the last two weeks, but will probably be best remembered for jumping offsides on 4th and 1, with 2:00 to go, vs Washington in a 20 – 14 loss. (But let’s put all the blame on the QB situation!)
OLB – (C): Alex Singleton recorded double digit tackles in three of four games, plus a sack and a FR. He’s much improved at reading angles and getting off blocks. More than that, he brought energy to the defense. Duke Riley missed the last two games, but had an interception vs New Orleans.
ILB – (C): T.J. Edwards has been serviceable in the middle of this defense. He arrived here with the label “athletic limitations”. Being put into this system didn’t do him any favors, in terms of developing his strong-suit. If he has one. Which was not made evident this last quarter.
S – (D): Jalen Mills is a good soldier, but he’s not special as a player. This was once again put on display this quarter. He plays sound team concept ball, helps corral ball-carriers, swarms the football, yadda yadda. He just doesn’t affect the outcome of games. Marcus Eppsstarted three of these four games, and turned it into a team-leading (how sad) two interceptions. Rookie K’Von Wallace got two starts, but it was too soon, in the wrong situation, with no teachers. Rudy Ford was unimpressive. If not for Epps, this position wouldn’t qualify for a grade.
CB – (F): Darius Slayplayed in three of these four games and finally snagged a pick, vs Dallas of all teams. Nickell Robey-Coleman continued to be a non-factor vs the pass. Michael Jacquetplayed in two of the four games and was utterly victimized vs Dallas. Grayland Arnoldplayed a lot vs Dallas, and he got the Week 17 start.
LS – (A): Rick Lovato added one more tackle to his impressive resume.
P – (D): Cam Johnston saw two games this quarter where he averaged less than 40 yards per boot. His 16 punts for 664 yards put him at 41.5 per swing of the leg, and he even had one blocked for the first time this season. It’s hard to say whether his leg wore out or whether he was affected by the air getting denser as the weather grew cooler. Either way, he was less effective.
K – (B): Jake Elliott was perfect on extra point kicks (when allowed to attempt them), and 2/3 on FG attempts. FOR THIS QUARTER! He had all of three tries, this quarter. I had no idea of that until I just looked it up! (Dear Doug, it’s decisions like this that get people FIRED! What, too soon?) Jake also stepped up and handled a couple of punts for us when injury struck at Arizona. That sort of
SINCE LAST QUARTER:
Entering the quarter with control of our own destiny, it largely felt like neither the Head Coach, General Manager, or Owner wanted to step up and declare a direction. As a result, the whole thing has been a rudderless mess. Did Lurie even want the Eagles to make the playoffs? Where does he stand on the tanking? What are his thoughts on Jalen Hurts? We have no clue about any of this.
MISSION FOR THIS QUARTER:
Without a Head Coach, I have no idea what the vision for the future is. That means I can’t even try to forecast it. What I can do is take a moment to indulge my vanity, and write about what I HOPE the mission is for this offseason. Who do I hope is the next Head Coach?
Duce Staley becomes the Head Coach. Not just because he’s an Eagles lifer. Not just because he’s been patient as promotions to Offensive Coordinator have twice passed him by.
Duce should be the coach because Carson Wentz at his best, had a VERY strong run game behind him. Duce believes in running the ball. Duce’s approach can win us another Super Bowl.
Duce should be the coach because he has gotten productivity from every RB that has been brought in here. He has found a way to reach and develop players. This has been a sore spot for the Eagles for too long. Duce can fix that.
Duce should be the coach because he (like Doug when he got here), understands where he is. He understands the nature of the media that will attack him from Day One. He already gets how the fans demand so much in terms of effort, and that you will earn our hearts forever when you deliver.
And then there’s the Rooney Rule. Wouldn’t it be nice to ignore it? To not have needed it. To see critics go
Especially in this racial/political/social climate. ESPECIALLY for a guy who deserves it, and that it’s damned well overdue for?
I want the arrogance of saying to our rivals: That the Eagles were socially progressive only by happenstance. That we were doing what we wanted to do, and being forward thinking is a side effect of just being fucking better than you. I want that.
So I hope that Duce becomes our next Head Coach. That’s our Mission For This Quarter.
I hear you asking, “What about all the stuff that stats don’t reveal?” Well, that’s the reason for the Four Things articles. It’s to point out what we need to address BEFORE the game. Then AFTER the game, there’s a no-bullshit assessment of whether or not the Eagles did any of what they needed to do, to ensure the win.
So how much of what I mentioned in Four Things: Saints did the Eagles get around to doing? Well let’s see:
1) Lose the game: Didn’t happen. Now the Eagles exist in a third place limbo that neither helps their playoff chances, nor Draft position. Needing SERIOUS salary cap relief, this team will need a massive infusion of young contributors, if we’re not trying to make a habit of sitting behind New York and Washington. Both of which are respectively 2 and 1 year ahead of our rebuild effort. The win may have felt good to the fans, but a look at Owner Jeff Lurie’s face, as he sat in the press box with his team ahead in the fourth quarter, will plainly tell you this win was NOT in the plans. (NOT DONE)
2) Don’t bench Hurts: This was only for if he looked shaky out there, and he didn’t. Total freebie. (DONE)
3) Give up 35 points: Nope. The Defense played very well, thanks in part to the Saints starting a QB made of tofu. They insisted on playing into the strength of the Eagles Defense, even after 75% of our starting Secondary was hurt on one play! Our Secondary is trash on a good day, and their RB/TE/KR/FB/H-Back/QB was too dumb all day long, to audible into anything that could have hurt us. Any Eagles fan who sees this team part ways with DT Fletcher Cox, or DE Brandon Graham, will see it as a step back. Especially without the Draft capital to replace such players. (Now are you starting to see how all this fits together?) (NOT DONE)
4) Doug has to look clueless: Don’t look now, but Pederson has just out-coached Sean Payton, with a rookie QB. Calling a plethora of plays that we haven’t seen for 12 games (that 40 yard Slot Drag to WR Jalen Reagor was a poorly executed thing of beauty!), the Saints had no answers, as everything they studied this week had to do with a pocket-based offense. Next week the Cardinals will be trying to keep Hurts from immediately bootlegging right, but this week it took the Saints an entire half to even try to start a containment. (NOT DONE)
Put plainly, the team won the game, but it was a MASSIVE step back for the Front Office. We’ll see what shakes out next week at Arizona. And please don’t get too caught up in the “who starts at QB” thing. We’re 4 – 8 – 1. At this point, that’s window dressing. Look ahead to the BIG picture.
On The Whole:
Allow me to bring up a few points.
Fewer than 200 passing yards, less than a 60% completion rate, one touchdown and one turnover. But the fans are happy?
We didn’t give up a sack, largely because the QB was running from the pocket. Even before pressure. On practically every down. But the fans are happy?
Before you make the Michael Vick comparisons, remember what his hand looks like. Lamar Jackson? Kyler Murray? Cam Newton? Robert Griffin III? Randall Cunningham? All terrifying runners. Not one ring between sixty fingers.
Guys like Russell Wilson, Steve Young (HOF), John Elway (HOF), and Aaron Rodgers all use/used their mobility to buy time to make a throw. Not to outright sprint for sidelines. As a result…they have rings.
Jalen Hurts can run, but we have yet to see him play QB. This game featured him running to a side, and then operating on that side. So before you become enamored with that style of play, scroll back up and take a long look at the two lists I put up. The fans were happy with the win on Sunday. But by the time you read this, it will be Monday.
SHOULD the Eagles bench QB Carson Wentz? If you answered “Yes” to that question, you may be suffering from a severe case of Stupidity. Wait, no. That’s never how it actually works. Everyone else around you,may be suffering from your severe case of Stupidity.
Remember hating WR Nelson Agholor for years? Remember calling him a bum? Remember who didn’t? That would be me. Remember hating MLB Jordan “Cowboy Killer” Hicks for being injured all the time? Remember who didn’t? That would also be me. Remember hating CB Sidney Jones and CB Rasul Douglas? And again, guess who didn’t?
How are those players looking these days? Hey, to all of you who wanted us to keep QB Nick Folesover Wentz, how is Foles working out as a starter? What is he now, 2 – 8? 2 – 9? Just to rub salt in a wound, this February, I also said in THE 12 that we should have paid SS Malcolm Jenkins? Here’s the link.
Clearly, I don’t suffer from Stupidity. Instead, I have a condition known as “Guru”. It causes me to look “down the line”, and assess before I speak. Which means, you should listen to me.
Now some of you are saying that Wentz should ride pine, because he’s having a shitty season. And it’s true, on most levels, it truly is a spectacular shit-storm of a season. It is however, only one bad season. Feel free to take a minute and look back at his career to confirm that.
Now for some math. Because I know you LOVES the Maths!
In June of 2019, Wentz signed a 4 year extension worth 128M$, with 107M$ guaranteed, and 66M$ being fully guaranteed through 2021. The Eagles can get out of the deal after 2021, if they’re willing to eat 24M$ in dead money, in 2022. That’s because Wentz has no guaranteed salary after 2021. His remaining guaranteed money is all bonus money. He has another 63M$ in pre-arranged base salaries through 2024, but not a dime of those salaries are guaranteed.
My point is, Eagles team owner Jeff Lurie is on the hook to Wentz for another 60M$ even after this 2020 season ends. Lost revenue from the COVID affected 2020 season, is threatening to shrink the NFL salary cap from 198M in 2020, to (an estimated) 186M in 2021. So for at least the next two years, Wentz will represent 12 – 18% of the Eagles salary cap. Whether he’s on the roster or not.
To relate this to you: If you had a $1,000 budget, what service would you agree to spend $120 – $180 on, if you were no longer getting that service? Oh, and keep in mind, you’d also have to pay for a replacement service at the same time. This is what fans think Lurie should do.
So here’s the 60M$ question: Would Lurie pay Wentz 34M to sit and watch football in 2021, and then 24M while on someone else’s roster in 2022? No. Not on your life. So Wentz is your 2020 AND your 2021 starter. As well as your likely starter in 2022.
Take notice of how nervous Head Coach Doug Pederson appears. Also take notice of how agitated, but otherwise calm, Wentz appears. In this business, franchise QB’s are far harder to find than a decent head coach. Especially with a guy like Assistant Head Coach Duce Staleywaiting in the wings. (Oh, you hadn’t considered that, had you?)
QB Jalen Hurts was brought here to keep asses in the seats, if Wentz gets seriously injured. That’s it. If Wentz gives the Eagles a medical reason to opt out, there’s a very talented insurance policy already on the roster.
Aside from that, Wentz is your starter. Definitely through 2021, but possibly until his deal runs out in 2024, when he’ll only be 32, and still carry a very friendly cap-hit of 32M$.
PERENNIAL laughingstock. That’s the best way to describe the team formerly known as the Redskins. Every year for the last quarter century, you fans get geeked up in September, only to end up moaning “We’ll get ‘em next year.” by mid-October.
And as if that wasn’t bad enough, this year, owner Dan Snyder renamed your team “The Washington Football Team”. In one fell swoop, he literally turned your fan base into a fucking Abbott and Costello routine. It’s hilarious! I have to love it.
JOURNALIST: So sir, who is your favorite football team?
FAN: Football Team.
JOURNALIST: Yes. Who is your favorite?
FAN: The Football Team.
JOURNALIST: Yes, but which one?
FAN: That one!
JOURNALIST: Which one?!
FAN: The Football Team!
All across America, there are probably thousands of conversations just like that, going on every day. Fans who know your team is doing something stupid, yet trying desperately to defend it anyway. Which I suppose is habit by now for Washington fans.
JOURNALIST: Sir it’s a simple question. Which football team is your favorite?
FAN: I’m a fan of the Football Team!
JOURNALIST: From which city?
FAN: Technically they don’t represent a city.
JOURNALIST: Okay then. Which state?
FAN: It’s not really a state either.
That’s true by the way. The District of Columbia is a federal district. It technically neither a city, nor a state. Like the Redskins who technically do, but don’t have a name. They exist in a perpetual state of “Yeah, but not really. Absolutely, but not at all.”
I’m also enjoying how suddenly “woke” you all are, while still trying to justify what you’re now woke about. That irony is rich enough classify as a dessert.
JOURNALIST: Who owns your favorite team?
FAN: Dan Snyder.
JOURNALIST: Wait! You’re a Redskins fan?
FAN: Don’t call them the Redskins! That name is racist.
JOURNALIST: How long did you root for them?
FAN: All my life! Thirty-two years.
JOURNALIST: And the name just became racist?
FAN: Once they changed it, yeah. Fuck that name.
JOURNALIST: But it was okay before they changed it?
FAN: Oh yeah! Got it tattooed on my chest here. Over my heart.
JOURNALIST: And until then, you didn’t care how Native Americans felt?
JOURNALIST: Native Americans.
FAN: Which team is that? What city do they come from?
JOURNALIST: They’re indigenous people…
JOURNALIST: You used to call them Redskins!
FAN: HAIL! I mean, fuck them! I mean, fuck that name! I mean, go Football Team! Hey-yah, hey-yah!
This is what you’ve been reduced to. This is what you’ve become. Remember being proud? Yeah, that’s in the past now. You’re the Geoffrey Owens of football fans. And do you know the BEST part? Still, in all of this, you all actually think your team has a shot at winning the division. That is SO cute!
You guys should start small. Focus on developing a QB who finishes games before he starts taking pictures with the crowd. Focus on not running off a Pro Bowl caliber LT. Focus on hiring a head coach who you don’t fire every other year.
Your team is just awful. How awful? Ron Rivera signed with your team, and then was diagnosed with cancer. Actual fucking cancer! I’m not blaming your team but yes I totally am. And then to make his life easier, your team let go of a Hall of Fame caliber RB in Adrian Peterson, so that they can start J.D. Mickissic. If you didn’t know that Mickissic was your starter this Sunday, YOU’RE WELCOME!
These are all REAL things. I would make some up, but I could never match the idiocy with which your team is being run into the ground. Honestly, I think if Dan Snyder counted his balls ten times in a row, he’d never get the same number twice. That level of incompetence deserves some sort of prize. So the Eagles will give it to you.
FOR anyone who doesn’t know this already, the LT position is the premier offensive line assignment, in football. That position is the one which protects the QB’s blindside. It’s not one that smart teams gamble with. Let me ask you: Are you okay with gambling on protecting QB Carson Wentz’s blindside?
Jason Peters was brought in after RG Brandon Brooks was lost with an Achilles tear. Peters was asked to play RG and given a 1.8M$ deal. Fans were excited. Partly because we figured that if something happened to LT Andre Dillard, or if Dillard didn’t pan out, we could always move Peters back out to LT.
Well something did happen to Dillard, and now people are acting confused over how we should deal with it. Whom shall we put out at LT? How do we protect our Franchise QB? If only we had a Hall Of Fame, perennial All-Pro caliber player, nicknamed “The Bodyguard”. This is the easiest decision to make since “and now another breath”, but here we are over-thinking it.
Some fans figure that perhaps OL Matt Pryor can take over at LT. Or even OL Jordan Mailata. No disrespect, but Pryor has played almost exclusively at RG, for a career grand total of 79 downs. Both times were in relief of Brooks. Mailata has yet to play a single down in the regular season. Again, are you okay with gambling on protecting Carson Wentz’s blindside?
LT is not a position to trifle with, and big time talent, costs big time money. In fact, if you look across the NFL, you’ll find that the highest paid offensive lineman on most teams, is generally the starting LT. Which brings me to another point.
There are fans and sportswriters irritated that Peters wants more money to move back to LT. Let’s clear this up immediately: Peters SHOULD ask for more money. The market value of a G is significantly lower than a LT. Moreover, based on their understanding of the market, the Eagles Front Office should have had the class to offer a re-worked deal, when they came to ask him to switch positions.
Look at the market for starting LT’s. None of us working stiffs will make NFL money in 2020, but we all understand the value of not allowing our employers to underpay us for good work. Look at this through that lens.
Here in 2020, the average NFL team pays out 10.3M$ on it’s LT position, as shown here. So far in 2020, the Eagles (counting Dillard) are spending 3.77M$. TOTAL. The only teams less invested at the LT position, are Jacksonville (3.72M), then Washington (2.68M), and then the giants (1.56M). Is this the kind of company we should be keeping? Is this who the Eagles are now?
The cap space is available in terms of the 21M$ that we want to roll-over into 2021’s salary cap situation. Upping Peters deal an additional 6 or 7M$ cuts into that, but again: Are you okay with gambling on protecting Carson Wentz’s blindside? That’s the issue here.
Still not sure if this was a game, or assault and battery.
Eagles 63 – Jets 23
Carson Wentz: (32/39 – 82.0% – 544 – 5 – 1)
Miles Sanders: (31 – 181 – 5.8 – 2 – 0)
DeSean Jackson: (8 – 5 – 167 – 33.4 – 3)
Brandon Graham: (4 – 3.0 – 0 – 1)
Jets Coach Adam Gase. That moment when the Ex-Lax hits during your press conference.
I hear you asking, “What about all the stuff that stats don’t reveal?” Well, that’s the reason for the Four Things articles. It’s to point out what we need to address BEFORE the game. Then AFTER the game, there’s a no-bullshit assessment of whether or not the Eagles did any of what they needed to do, in order to ensure the win.
So how much of what I mentioned in Four Things: JETSdid the Eagles get around to doing? Well let’s see:
1) No biting: Upon being flagged for delay of game, Wentz tore off his helmet, and ran right at the referee. But he didn’t bite him! So we’re making progress there. Carson’s new training regiment has made him a ton more aggressive, but he’s learning to manage it now. That being said, RT Lane Johnson bit a LB, and K Jake Elliott bit a hot dog vendor. So, it’s happening less… (NOT DONE)
2) Eliminate penalties: Unlike last week’s 6 penalties, this week had only 1 penalty. Head Coach Doug Pederson stayed fully dressed, and saved his taunting for the post-game handshake. At which point he yelled “Open neck, no respect!” and smacked Jets coach Adam Gase in the back of his head. It was hard enough to make Gase choke on his chewing gum. Luckily, LT Jason Peters’s fingers were long enough to dig the gum out of Gase’s airway. Vomit was everywhere. (DONE)
3) Fewer points allowed:The Eagles gave the Jets a pre-game, 20 – 0 lead, which was erased by the end of the first quarter. (NOT DONE)
4) Use the scoreboard:Yet again DT Fletcher Cox was invited into the home of a rival coach, by their wife. Cox said that nothing happened though, because Gase’s wife “looks an evil potato that learned how to smile”. Still, seeing it on the big screen was enough to unnerve coach Gase, and provide us an advantage. (DONE)
That makes this week’s FT score a “Meh” 2 out of 4. Which brings the season total to uhhh…This far in, I’m no longer even counting. Tune in next week, when the Eagles harass and heckle yet another team into playing a game. Maybe the Ravens again? I’m hoping for the Ravens.
On The Whole:
This one got out of hand quickly. Easily the highlight of the day was Carson Wentz lining up at weakside LB, and sacking QB Sam Darnold. The sack celebration got a little weird, when Carson grabbed Darnold by the collar, and started shouting that Darnold had “no right” to red hair.
Upon releasing Darnold, Carson went to the sideline, while repeatedly shouting German curse words. Not curse words in German, but the literal words “German curse words”. Weightlifting is making that guy scary.
By the half it was 34 – 23, and the Eagles began letting their fans take snaps here and there. The halftime show involved Earl Thomas and his brother counting out quarters to “go halves” on a hooker. Did you notice my 7 yard run in the third quarter?
I cannot wait to see what the next game brings us.
RANDOM THROW-IN: December 2, 2012. This is one of the TWO games he ever played in.