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FOUR THINGS REVIEWED – WK2 – FALCONS

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/09/16
Posted in: Coaching, Conversations, Defense, Four Things, NFL, Offense, Players, Reviews, stats. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

OTHER fans get to be emotional about this loss. I get to be emotional during the game. Afterward, I have to put my anger aside, to objectively dissect it. That being said, this game was lost for us by the fucking rat-faced coaching staff. I won’t be able to fully address it in the FTR format, but rest assured that this week, there will come a reckoning, and it will not be pretty.

Losing WR’s DeSean Jackson and Alshon Jeffery early in this game, certainly had a massive impact on the game, but there were too many other inexcusable errors out there.

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Eagles 20 – Falcons 24

Yet again the Eagles held an opponent to fewer than 100 yards rushing (15 – 64 – 4.2 – 0 – 0), but that was offset by allowing QB Matt Ryan (27/43 – 320 – 62.7% – 3 – 3) to hit wide open receiver, after wide open receiver, after wide open receiver. Honestly, why would opponents run, when they can take yardage in much larger chunks?

Shrugging off one lost weapon after another, QB Carson Wentz (25/43 – 231 – 58.1% – 1 – 2) showed true grit, and seemed to be the only Eagle out there on Offense, who was hungry to win. WR Nelson Agholor (8 – 107 – 13.3 – 1) had a busy night, but dropped the go-ahead touchdown.

It took a blitz by reserve S Andrew Sendejo (2 – 1 – 0 – 0) to get our only sack of the game.

I hear you asking, “What about all the stuff that stats don’t reveal?” Well, that’s the reason for these “Four Things” articles. We introduce an idea of what needs addressing BEFORE the game, so that fans have to honestly answer questions about those things, AFTER the game. This helps to get us, and keep us, all on the same page.

So, of the Four Things we were looking for in this last game, what exactly did we see?

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Gotta love a juggled handoff!

1) Run Howard: We did not. RB Jordan Howard (8 – 18 – 2.2 – 0 – 0) did not start and was given a sporadic 8 carries. Instead, rookie RB Miles Sanders (10 – 28 – 2.8 – 0 – 0) spent another week being an ineffective feature back. The Eagles are trying to make a star out of Sanders, despite him showing repeatedly that he isn’t ready. The result is that Wentz has to carry the Offense by himself. (NOT DONE)

2) Dissolve the pocket: The D-Line pretty much played it straight up, except for when they blitzed. There were a couple of points where we got Ryan to throw from a dead run (he had a TD on a rollout to his right), but we didn’t do nearly enough to force him consistently out of the pocket. (NOT DONE)

3) Finish Him!: Just make the tackle. The Eagles were pretty good at this, this week. There was of course the TD to WR Julio Jones (5 – 106 – 21.2 – 2), but that also included a nice block, a bad tackle angle and no deep help. But all in all, our tackling was much better than a week ago. (DONE)

4) Deliver Liver Punches: We didn’t run enough, nor did we run effectively enough to make play-action something to be respected. While Agholor and TE Zach Ertz (8 – 72 – 9.0 – 0) were our leading 2 receivers, this game was devoid of the schematic impact of play-action. (NOT DONE)

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That brings our weekly tally to 1 of 4 Four Things completed. That brings our two week total to 3 of 8 so far. That’s a sub .500 mark. We have plenty of stuff to get together before our appointment with the undefeated (1 – 0 – 1) Detroit Lions next week.

On The Whole:

This was a weird game. Our Defensive Line couldn’t touch the QB. We seemed to spend most of the night in Cover Zero, and kept being spanked in it. There seemed to be a concerted effort to play the youth, even though they clearly aren’t up to the task at this point. And despite all the injuries, no one seemed to be leaving the sidelines or removing their pads.

This is an odd loss. After Ertz was shown to be short of the sticks, I was of course as emotional as a fan should be. However, looking back at the game now, it all had a surreal feel to it.

In fact, looking back, it still has that “Wait. Did that happen or did I dream that” feel it. Parts of it just don’t add up. It’s why I put this loss on the coaching staff and not the players, per se.

 

FOUR THINGS – WK 2 – EAGLES-FALCONS

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/09/12
Posted in: Coaching, Conversations, Defense, Four Things, NFC East, NFL, Offense, Players, Preview, The 12. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment

WK2-ATL

LAST week’s win was great for two reasons. First, it was a tone setter for the season, both because we won the game, and for how we won it. Second, it was a win against a division foe. Now the Eagles look to build momentum by stacking a conference win, behind a division win.

The Falcons were humiliated last week by the Vikings, who left cleat marks in the Falcons chests, running for 172 yards and 4.5 ypc. The Vikings only had to throw the ball TEN TIMES all game long. The Falcons will want to prove to the world that they are nobody’s bitches, as they defend their home field against an Eagles team that throat punches them, every time we see each other.

The Eagles comeback victory last week was great to watch, but let’s be honest, it was just the Redskins. We pummeled a kindergartner, but somehow managed to let it be a contest first. Not really a point of bragging. So this week we need to prove that we can beat a team that’s capable of playing past Week 17. Otherwise, next week’s victory over Detroit will mean a lot less.

So let’s talk about the Four Things we need to focus on this week versus the Falcons:

1) Run Howard: Ron Howard.jpg

Noooo, not Ron Howard, run Howard! As in RB Jordan Howard. Atlanta has several undersized players on their front seven, which is how they got victimized so badly by Minnesota last week. That lack of size isn’t something they can resolve this season, particularly in time for this game. So it’s a weakness we should exploit. After last week’s aerial assault, the Falcons will be looking to “Prevent” that from happening to them. A physical run game, vs a smallish front seven, playing a loose box to start… We need to do this.

2) Dissolve the Pocket: Shifting our DT’s right, (QB’s left) on 3rd and long, would let us torch half the pocket and get Matty Ice, running. Not jogging, running. We need to get QB Matt Ryan moving. Not just re-setting his feet in the pocket, because he’s a good enough athlete for that. We need to make him throw while on the run. If we can get him running, the up and down motion will help vary the heights on his launch points. If we can bother his release, we’ve already bothered his delivery. That gives our defenders a better chance of intercepting him.

3) Finish Him!: Stop hunting the strip early in games. Just make the tackle. Back in 2017 I said the same thing in THE 12 . More often it’s situations not players, that really create turnovers. Early in games, offensive players don’t have tired arms and hands. They aren’t yet desperate to make something happen. Overthinking usually makes you miss your goal. Same thing with our Defense. They need to make the tackle, not allow the mistakes of the past (Vernon Davis 48 yard TD) to repeat themselves. Focus on the mission and accomplish what we set out to do. That’s what we winners do.

THE W

4) Deliver Liver Punches: Play-action passes to TE Zach Ertz, and WR Nelson Agholor, will gut this defense specifically. It’s small because it’s built around speed and trust in the initial read, to magnify the effects of it’s speed. Conversely, when this defense makes a small read error, it’s a BIG execution error. Running the ball tough then using play-action on short passes, would have us taking yardage in chunks in the second half.

If we do all these things, we’re just about guaranteed to win. Now that we’ve covered what should happen, let’s get into what likely will happen:

This is a no nonsense, no fooling around type of game here. Both teams need this game for different reasons. It’s not a “must win” scenario. It’s way too early for that talk. But winning early decreases the odds of having to play “must win” games, during the regular season.

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The Falcons run game was almost non-existent last week. 24 of their 73 yards came off of Matt Ryan’s legs. So look for them to try to establish that early. After a combined 10 catches for 95 yards (and 2 TD’s), expect WR’s Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley to keep the Falcons in the game late into the 3rd quarter at least, and possibly up until the last play.

In advance I’d like to thank our 20 yard cushions, for making this game more stressful than it needs to be.

On Offense, I think Head Coach Doug Pederson will see the light and lean less on smaller RB’s this week. The fireworks from last week served to put teams on notice, but it can’t be the bread and butter of this team. Unless Atlanta serves up numerous breakdowns in their secondary, this week will be about establishing who the 2019 Eagles are truly trying to be.

In the end, the Eagles have more weapons, are deeper, and have a better idea of who were are, and of who we are not. The Falcons still seem to be finding their identity, and because of that, will commit more acts of over-reach. At least one of which will prove fatal.

PREDICTION: EAGLES 27 – Falcons 22

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FOUR THINGS REVIEWED – WK1 – REDSKINS

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/09/09
Posted in: Conspiracy Corner, Conversations, Four Things, NFC East, NFL, Offense, Players, Reviews, Rivals, Roster, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

2019 Carson's Weapons.jpg

TOLD you that we’d start slow. Honestly, if not for a couple of fluke scores by Washington, the final score wouldn’t be as close as it looks on paper. We went into halftime down 7 – 20, and still I was in good spirits. Because I already knew.

Some people will want to tell you that QB Carson Wentz (28/39 – 71.7% – 313 – 3 – 0) isn’t clutch, because he doesn’t have many 4th quarter comebacks. I on the other hand, think it’s nice when the comeback effort is complete before the 4th quarter.

EAGLES 32 – Redskins 27

There is no way to talk about this game without mentioning the whuppin’ that WR DeSean Jackson (8 – 154 – 19.2 – 2) put on the Redskins secondary. He teamed up with Wentz for two scoring strikes of 50 plus yards. One of which caused ‘skins CB Josh Norman (4 – 0 – 0 – 0) to spontaneously burst into flames.

2019 Josh Norman mock

For some reason, the Eagles chose to use RB Jordan Howard (6 – 44 – 7.3 – 0 – 0) sparingly, despite him being most effective ball carrier on the team. Rookie RB Miles Sanders (11 – 25 – 2.2 – 0 – 0) got the start, but spent too many of his first steps trying to pick a spot, instead of running with authority to dictate a spot.

Getting in on the run game was WR Alshon Jeffery (5 – 49 – 9 – 1 / 1 – 2 – 2.0 – 1 – 0), who ran for a 2 yard score, as well as catching a 5 yard score on a Crossing route in the back of the endzone.

Defensively the Eagles surrendered 380 passing yards on 30 of 44 passing (68.1%), and 28 rushing yards on 13 carries (2.1ypc). Some sloppy tackling allowed an ancient TE to score on a 48 yard catch and run. Later on, a poorly called defense allowed CB Rasul Douglas (3 – 0 – 0 – 0) to get matched up on a guy with 4.35 speed, with no Safety help over the top. Douglas isn’t a burner, so naturally he was easily beaten for a 69 yard catch and run, on a Skinny Post route.

These were of course, fluke type touchdowns. Even before halftime, the Eagles were showing that they could get a handle on the Redskin offense. So the second half was a completely different story, with the Eagles outscoring the ‘skins 25 – 7. Because well…

2019 DJax Wentz

I hear you asking, “What about all the stuff that stats don’t reveal?” Well, that’s the reason for these “Four Things” articles. We introduce an idea of what needs addressing BEFORE the game, so that fans have to honestly answer questions about those things, AFTER the game. This helps to get us, and keep us, all on the same page.

So, of the Four Things we were looking for (link to parent article) in this last game, what exactly did we see?

1) Be aggressive early: We really didn’t come out very aggressively at all. Short screens, running the ball with RB Darren Sproles (9 – 47 – 5.2 – 0 – 0) on the opening drive. It had the feel of this week’s Bears/Packers game, where Bears coach Matt Nagy kept getting cute with his playcalling. Our aggression showed up late, which is better than not at all. However, not showing it early, is also why we fell behind. (NOT DONE)

card.timmy.jernigan

This is Jernigan sacking Kirk Cousins. He also wore the target 8.

2) Shred their o-line: Early on it looked like this wouldn’t get done. Then the defensive interior began to assert itself. DT Timmy Jernigan (1 – 1 – 0 – 0) grabbed a sack, and DT Fletcher Cox (2 – 0 – 0 – 0) managed a tackle for a loss. The stat-lines aren’t sexy, but the line generated pressure and made it hard for their QB to settle his feet. (DONE)

3) Work the edges: While TE Zach Ertz (5 – 54 – 10.8 – 0) only saw 7 targets in this game, most of them were Outs and passes to the Flat. That worked to pull the LB’s and S’s towards the sides, and opened up the run inside. (DONE)

4) Play press coverage: The Eagles played tighter cushions when the Redskins went into Bunch formations. However, when the ‘skins spread out, our CB’s allowed those 6, 7, and 8 yard cushions to creep back onto the field. The result was allowing the Redskins to complete 68% of their passes. Unacceptable. (NOT DONE)

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So we open the season with 2 out of 4 things done. To be fair, even the things we didn’t do, we kinda did, but standards are strict here. Next week we head down to the A-T-L, to raise some major hell. After watching tape of the Wentz/Jackson show, I’m sure their coaches won’t sleep all week. Should make next Sunday night’s game more interesting than tonight’s Steelers and Patriots re-enactment of the Rodney King beating.

On The Whole:

This game was far more competitive than it should have been. I predicted a slow start, but c’mon guy! Our Offensive playcalling looked downright timid to start.

While Sproles is a nifty change of pace runner, he has no business running between the Tackles in the first quarter. Sanders showed some speed to the outside, but he was out-classed by Howard’s decisiveness, power, and patience. The Eagles indicated in this game that they’re trying to make the same mistake with Howard, that Chicago did, last year. Namely, putting someone before him, who isn’t as good as him.

CHANGE MY MIND

Wentz looked like the butcher that sliced up defenses in 2017. He wasn’t just a guy with a lot of weapons. He was a guy who knew how to use them. Two ballistic missiles to Jackson. Waving Ertz into position on a scramble. Throwing Jeffery open in the endzone. Wentz was conducting a symphony while extracting teeth, out there.

I have a nagging gripe about this game. DE Derek Barnett (3 – 0 – 0 – 0) did not do a consistent job of setting the edge today. Too often he lined up like was going to cross the DT’s gap, and then crashed down inside, leaving room for boots and Screens. This is the same thing that used to happen when DE Trent Cole played that same spot in Jim Washburn’s version of the Wide 9.

The team showed resiliency this week, but they need to show some grit as well. Overall, it’s just small things here and there. There’s nothing that can’t be ironed out in the next couple of weeks.

WHAT NOW, COWBOYS?

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/09/04
Posted in: Conspiracy Corner, Conversations, NFC East, Offense, Players, Rivals, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

elliott eat.jpg

BACK in July I told everyone that Cowboys RB Ezekiel Elliott had all the leverage, during his holdout. The Cowboys talked tough, and said they would not re-set the RB market. The owner Jerry Jones joked “Zeke who?” They brought in a former back-up, and tried to talk up a rookie change of pace back.

They barked, postured and ultimately caved entirely, to Elliott’s demand to be the highest paid RB in the game’s history. They gave him a 6 year, 90 million dollar extension, with a whopping 50 million of it guaranteed. In the process, they totally re-set the RB market.

But Elliott is beside the point. He was always going to get everything he wanted. I made that point over a month ago, with people telling me I was wrong.

(sigh)

i'm right

Again, Elliott is beside the point. The real question is what about QB Dak Prescott? Remember his demand for 40 million per year? The QB sits at the head of the table right? If the Cowboys caved to one of Prescott’s supporting cast, surely they have to be about to cave into him as well, right?

dak prescott 40.jpg

If Prescott doesn’t get an offer that he likes this season, he can fly the coop and test free agency in March. That would leave them with no QB and limited options. The Cowboys could franchise tag him, but if he doesn’t sign it, they are again without a QB.

Jerry Jones is in a position where he either has to grossly overpay Prescott, or tell him to his face that he’s not worth the money. Either way, Prescott’s contract talks will do visible harm to the team, starting in March of 2020.

So the question is: What now?

what now.jpg

OUR 2019 – 2020 EAGLES

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/09/03
Posted in: Conversations, Defense, NFC East, NFL, Offense, Players, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Swoop Flag2

NOW the games count. No more talk of managing risk. No more holding players out. Unless a team is rebuilding, finishing the year as champs, is every team’s mission. There is only one champion at the end of the year, and the 2019 – 2020 Eagles aim to claim that title. PERIOD.

So are we good enough to win it all? The simple, honest answer is: We should be.

Offensively we have the weapons to score with anyone, and I mean anyone. Rams, Chiefs, Wilt Chamberlain, whoever. We have enough skill-player talent, to stress any defense, along with enough depth to step up in case of injury. Or to keep applying the pressure when a Starter needs a breather.

2019 Carson's Weapons

The starting Offensive Line is very good, with a couple of reserves who could be starters today. Our starting QB is a problem for opponents when he’s on the field. Should he miss time however, his back-ups don’t look like they have any magic up their sleeves. That’s just as well. Realistically there are starting QB’s in the NFL who don’t have that quality. It’s lunacy to expect that from a back-up.

Our Defense is designed to slow teams down, not shut them down. It’s a bend-but-don’t-break, Wide 9 concept. It works fine, as long as our Offense can put up points early. If we’re behind, or the game is hotly contested, it’s not the most reliable system. However, as I said, we can score with anyone. Though I may not be a fan of the system, the coaching staff understands who we are, and after all it did win a Super Bowl. (While allowing a senior citizen to set the all-time passing yardage record against us.)

In my Pre-Draft Preview, I picked us to go 10 – 6 and win the NFC East. After the Draft, (I didn’t write it, but) I was thinking 13 – 3 or 14 – 2. However, after our poor use of the preseason, my official expectation holds at 10 – 6. More would be better! However, it’s hard to see more than 10 right now.

The Eagles have the weapons, but we’re liable to have “in situation” and “real game” rust, for not playing more starters during this preseason. Look, whenever a player holds out, coaches, the media, and we fans alike, all paraphrase the same line: “Nothing can simulate actual football.”

We Eagles fans can’t say that about a rival team’s holdout RB, and not apply that same logic to our own QB. That’s just being deliberately hypocritical. It’s one thing to back into hypocrisy by accident. We all do that, from time to time. It’s quite another to flagrantly cannonball into it, with eyes wide open.

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Our first four games (Washington, Atlanta, Detroit, Green Bay) feature three teams (all but GB), who played their starters at least a little, in real game scenarios. We didn’t do that. If we come out rusty, or too often off-schedule, or committing endless penalties, don’t expect our opponents to let up, and go easy on us. Three of those four games (all but Washington) are games we could actually lose.

And God forbid we should see a Week One, home loss to the Redskins. Our coaching staff would have more than egg on their faces.

watermelon catapult

My point is, while we can compete with anyone talent-wise, we may be a little slow coming out of the gate. Provided that the coaching staff is right about not needing the preseason, we are plenty good enough to be champions again.

Washington will tell us a lot, in about 6 days.

FOUR THINGS REVIEWED – WK PS4 – JETS

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/08/30
Posted in: Conversations, Defense, Fans, Four Things, NFL, Offense, Players, Roster, Special Teams, trade. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

flooded

TOLD you not to watch that game, didn’t I? While watching two episodes of American Dad and channel surfing during commercials, I saw probably 45 to 55 seconds combined, of the entire game, before leaving for work. Meanwhile, many of you ignored my warning, and suffered through that debacle.

EAGLES 0 – Jets 6

I bought a Daily News, an iced mocha, and I took the train from the airport this morning. It gave me time to digest what was reported about the game. When I got home, I looked up the box score for the player stats.

HOLY SHIT! I knew it was going to be a boring shit-show, but c’mon! They just Deebo’d you, for three hours of your life!

Deebo what.gif

They didn’t even try to be worth your time. How do you lose 0 – 6 in a game where the winner the team that didn’t lose, misses 3 field goals?

The big thing in this game was supposed to be that it would help decide who made the 53 man roster. That’s garbage. I told you in Four Things that the roster was already set.

1) DE: Defensive Coordinator Jim Schwartz like to have five DE’s. The Starters are Brandon Graham and Derek Barnett. Vinny Curry is the third end who can slide inside to DT in the NASCAR package. That means we need two more. Joe Ostman was lost with an injury, leaving Josh Sweat, Daeshon Hall and rookie Shareef Miller.

Hall has outplayed every pass rusher in the NFL this preseason. He made this team weeks ago. That’s four. Miller has out-competed, out-produced, and out-played Sweat, in every single regard this preseason. Unless we make a trade, if we keep five (like we did last year), Miller has to be fifth, with Hall being an automatic fourth.

2) RB: Wendell Smallwood or Josh Adams? Smallwood isn’t explosive and brings nothing to the table that our other backs don’t. Adams at least has the advantages of size, youth, and the possibility of a hidden upside. We’ve already seen Smallwood’s ceiling. If Smallwood makes the team, he has pictures of someone doing something with a dead girl, or a live boy. We don’t keep Adams if the staff decides to go with six receivers.

3) WR: Everyone wants to say we’re keeping five here. I like six. If Smallwood is cut then Special Teams needs a guy. Mack Hollins was injured last year, but he’s back now. Greg Ward is a slot guy we need to keep around, if Nelson Agholor is going to be trade bait. It’s easier to keep Ward and then elevate him, rather than cut him, hope no one grabs him, and then have a hole if Aggie is traded.

4) QB: Are we keeping three or four? Who is the back-up? Has the depth chart changed? Nobody cares. Carson Wentz will play until our season ends, and render his back-ups irrelevant.

On The Whole:

I’m just glad this travesty of a preseason is over.

its a celebration bitches.jpg

Better still, with the 8 – 4:30 hours at my new job, I’ll be able to catch ALL the games, without watching on a shitty tablet, with a shitty wifi signal that keeps dropping. And no more cramming these articles between the end of work, and desperately needed sleep. (Like I’m doing right now!)

FOUR THINGS – WK PS4 – EAGLES-JETS

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/08/28
Posted in: Conversations, Fans, Four Things, NFL, Preview, Rants, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

PS4-NYJ.jpg

LET’S talk about what’s at stake this week. Nothing. We know who the Starters are. We know who the second units are. The third stringers will spend the year being activated and deactivated. Is that what we’re watching too see?

Besides, we play the Jets in like six weeks. We’re not showing them anything worth seeing. We won’t even be hinting at anything in this game. 

I mean c’mon, rookie OT Brett Toth, who signed a three year deal a week ago, is currently a liability as a pass blocker, and has yet to see any preseason action. Even if he doesn’t play a snap in this game, we already KNOW he’s guaranteed a spot on the practice squad.

2019 Brett Toth3.jpeg

So there are zero stakes for the team, and the final score is a shrug to the team. Aside from a handful of guys who want more audition tape, all anyone wants, is to avoid getting hurt. That’s it. That’s what everyone is playing for. (BTW: If a player is still compiling tape in preseason week four, they’ve already told teams enough.)

I spent from Sunday until Wednesday trying to figure out why any of us should care about this last preseason game, when it’s evident that the team itself is just going through the motions, due to obligation. Here’s what I came up with: Just don’t watch it.

Why pump direct ratings via cable boxes, Nielsen boxes, and satellite receivers, to a league that doesn’t see fit to offer you a decent product? “Here piggy piggy. You’ll consume it because it’s sort of football.” Really?

Between football players who don’t have to play, baseball players who don’t have to hustle, and basketball players who think it’s cool to go years without being able to shoot a basketball, teams just don’t worry about giving fans quality anymore.

Are we their bitches? Are we their whores? I can’t speak for you, but I for one, am certainly not. If we the fans don’t send some sort of message, we’re going to keep seeing this. Or worse. So I’m taking this week off, and I’m asking you to do the same.

So let’s talk about the Four Things we need to focus on this week versus the Jets:

1) Work: If you work nights, don’t bother trying to find places watch the game out of the view of your supervisor. Why risk a write-up for a game that doesn’t matter? Wait until the games count, to run that kind of risk. Right Carson?

2) A night out: While lots of fans will crowd into sports bars, and stay home to catch the game, so the theaters should have fewer people in them. Same with restaurants that don’t have televisions in them. Take advantage of the extra elbow room.

3) Grocery shopping: If your favorite supermarket is open until 10p.m. or later, then by 7:30 or so, sports fans with talking pets (small kids), have generally cleared out of the building. If you show up at 8:00, you should be able to have an almost leisurely experience shopping. It’s not as good as 10a.m. on a Tuesday, but it’s pretty close. (Note: This may permanently change when you shop.)

4) Decorate: Spend the night decorating for Thanksgiving. Turkey Day is a huge football holiday, and it seldom gets the attention it deserves, since Christmas always waylays it’s mojo. Friday August 30th is still very much Summer. I can hardly think of a better end to Summer next month, than barbecuing in 80 degree weather, with Pilgrims in your window, and a giant inflatable turkey behind you.

If we do all these things, we’re just about guaranteed to win. Now that we’ve covered what should happen, let’s get into what likely will happen:

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You will watch the game. You can’t help it. You’ve missed football for too long, to ignore it for a week. The season is just too finite, and you don’t want to waste a second of it.

I on the other hand, am dead ass serious about not watching this game. (I may see a few seconds here or there while channel surfing, but I will not be staying. By no means.) Because I won’t be watching it, Head Coach Doug Pederson will elect to play his Starters for a series or two. Rest assured I will nod in amused irony when you all tell me about, it the following day.

(Side note: The Eagles have been putting a LOT of emphasis on adding to that RT spot recently. Halapoulivaati Vaitai, Jordan Mailata, Brett Toth… They don’t keep taking swings like this, at any other spot on the line. We might want to keep an eye on Lane Johnson this season.)

PREDICTION: EAGLES 20 – Jets 17

[yeah bitch eagle pic]