WE’RE about to get our first look at Head Coach Nick Sirianni’s vision for the Eagles. The 2021 edition will be sporting a new look Offense aaand Defense. That means any expectations have to be set entirely to the side, until we have some idea of what the team does and doesn’t do, well.
Being a preseason game, we all know that the wins and losses don’t blah blah blah. But that’s just officially speaking. Even getting a preseason win under his belt, would give Sirianni something to hang his hat on, during meetings and film study.
While in a loss, he could point the finger at certain players; in a win, he can heap reward on certain players. For players trying to win roster spots or starting jobs in August, the carrot is a far better motivator than the stick. There is no carrot without winning this game.
The point of Four Things isn’t to predict a winner, it’s to discuss which tactics will practically guarantee our Eagles this win. CAUTION: I don’t have the faintest clue as to what a point spread is, and I know even less about how it works. I know football and that’s IT. If you use FT as a gambling tool, you are trying to lose your money, and will deserve it when you do.
So let’s talk about the Four Things we need to focus on this week versus Pittsburgh:
1) Simple Communication: It will be interesting to see how often an Eagles QB throws to an area where there is no receiver. Or how often a hand-off is poorly executed. It will be interesting to see who calls the signals on Defense, and how responsive surrounding players are to those calls.
The Eagles have to keep things simple, and make sure they are on the same page. This is the first preseason game. While a win would feel nice and be worth some coaching capital, there is nothing smart about pulling out all the stops for a preseason win. Keep it simple. Communicate clearly.
2) Bring the violence: Pittsburgh isn’t still a “pound the rock and iron defense” type of team, but they carried that rep for so long, that they still sort of benefit from it. We can use that. Bringing the pain on tackles, will put the NFL on notice.
Listen, it’s a lot easier to cover a WR on a Crossing route, if he’s spending half of it looking for a FS. Lapses in his concentration means drops, rounded routes, “Alligator Arms”, and other things. So send the message during this preseason: In 2021, the fastest way through Philadephia’sDefense, is in an ambulance.
3) Have A Ball: Across the NFL over the last 5 seasons (2016 – 2020), there have been 86 defensive safeties. That’s just 17.2 per season, among 32 teams. The rest of the scoring is done via touchdowns and field goals, both of which require physical possession of the football. If the opponent doesn’t have it, they generally can’t score. So go get ball. When we do get ball, keep ball. Move ball. Score ball. None of this is complicated. DO THIS.
4) Shelve the Cute Shit: Every team likes to run trick and gadget plays. Offensive coaches live to show us all how smart they are. Well, save it for after our Offense has the basics down. More than that, let’s show teams that we can win in a straightforward manner. Winning the division would be nice, but HOW we win it, forecasts how far we can go in the postseason.
If we do these Four Things, the Eagle should win in a walk.
As we saw against the Cowboys in the Hall of Fame game, Pittsburgh is also trying to figure things out. While QB Ben Roethlisberger didn’t play in that game (so their offense struggled), he also didn’t play in that game (so this is his first taste of a new system). Sauce for the goose.
Still, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin knows his players and how to guide them. Sirianni is entering his first engagement as the leader of an NFL team. If the Eagles talent takes over this game, it could get ugly for Pittsburgh. That said, if it comes down to coaching, expect Tomlin to take our rookie to school. In fact, maybe we should hope that he does.
PREDICTION: EAGLES 13 – Steelers 20
Check back in a couple of days for Four Things Reviewed, and we’ll discuss how it went.
TRADING for QB Deshaun Watson would be a huge mistake. Possibly one that could set the Eagles franchise back, for years. We’d be far better served by spending the next three years developing QB Jalen Hurts. Even if he never truly pans out, we’d still be better off than trading for Watson.
The rumors of the Texans wanting THREE first round picks in exchange for Watson, starts the proceedings off as ridiculous. Especially now that we won’t be getting that extra first rounder for QB Carson Wentz. Watson desperately wants out of Houston, and he has said that he won’t play another down for them.
This means the Texans have absolutely no leverage. None. Just fucking none. If Watson holds out, he still counts 15M$ against Houston’s salary cap in 2021, 40M$ in 2022, and 42M$ in 2023. Being a bad team (4 – 12 last year) that needs all the help it can get, the Texans can’t afford to let him sit idle. So for us to part with three first rounders, would be stupid on our part. (Maybe we can let Washington fall into that trap?)
With DE Brandon Graham, DT Fletcher Cox, and FS Rodney McLeod all on the back-end of their careers, having all of our first round picks is a necessity, not a luxury. Even if Watson came here and played lights out, he doesn’t cover any of the holes created by those looming losses. And each of those holes will be massive.
Then there’s public perception.
Even if Governor Cuomo (sorry), Watson sidesteps all the sexual misconduct accusations against him, he’s never going to shake the baggage. By association the Eagles, the fans, all of us would get stuck with it.
It’s one thing to stick by a guy that we drafted, or who’d been here a couple years as a model citizen. If something like this had come out about transplants like Connor Barwinor Chris Long, we’d want to be damned sure that it wasn’t BS. But BS or not, to bring Watson in NOW, is to borrow trouble. Why do it?
Then there’s the notion of getting rid of Hurts, who by all accounts has been doing community outreach, talking about how frugal/responsible he’s being with his money, and working very hard to improve (even if some of his workouts do seem counter-intuitive). By any measure, Hurts has been what you want kids looking up to. Why trade that for Watson’s baggage?
In the event that we traded for Watson and he flopped here, we’d be out picks AND still need a QB. Raise your hand if you want tickets to that shit-show….
Now show me a side-eye if you’d rather pass. Right now my eye is so side, that I think I just sprained my neck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. That’s what I get for being a smart-ass. Worth it.
TRAINING Camp arrived today! While most fans have been waiting to get a glimpse of the players, I’ve been dying to get a look at the systems we’ll be running. Of course we won’t get a real glimpse of the Defensive system until probably the third preseason game. Still, I’ll be looking for big changes in our coverage of opposing receivers.
I’m actually very excited about that.
Aside from that, I don’t really know what we can reasonably expect from this year’s camp. All that talk of open competition throughout the roster was bullshit from the jump; and I told you that it was, in plain and unbroken.
There are 22 starting positions between the Offense and the Defense, and the only spots truly up for grabs are LT, WR2, and maybe, maybe, MLB. Everything else has either been decided by, or confirmed by, economics.
The battle for LT between multi-year project Jordan Mailata, and 2019 first round pick Andre Dillard, should be a lot of fun to watch, as they bring two different approaches to the contest. Mailata raw size and power, and Dillard The two of them seem quietly determined to put the other guy on the bench. If iron truly sharpens iron, then the result should produce an excellent blindside protector for QB Jalen Hurts.
It’s already been said that WR Jalen Reagor would be operating mostly out of the Slot this season. Greg Ward is reliable, but lacks the speed to threaten deep; and while John Hightowerhas shown impressive wheels and an ability to uncover, his catch rate (34.5%) makes him impossible to take seriously as candidate to start.
That makes last year’s leading receiver Travis Fulgham, the odds-on favorite to be starter opposite rookie WR Devonta Smith. It needs to be said, with the amount of speed the Eagles have stockpiled at WR, especially when the back-ups are in, Jalen Hurts on a scramble drill could be lethal if he can improve his accuracy.
The MLB position is a toss-up. In our 4-3 base, that job belongs to T.J. Edwards right now. When we go to the Nickle or Dime, Edwards comes off the field. Then again so would most MLB’s. Second year man Shaun Bradley has more footspeed, but Edwards has better eyes and instincts, and he plays under more control. We’ll have to see how it plays out in Camp. Provided the job is truly even up for grabs.
Despite all the turnover this offseason, there really isn’t much to see, if you step back and view the big picture. The Eagles coaching staff doesn’t know enough about themselves as a group, to draw any definite lines in the sand about what must be done or how. This year is a lab for everybody. Both players and coaches.
Word to the wise:
This is not the most talented team in the NFL, but it does have a collection of young, explosive players on Offense. People are questioning whether those players will live up to their high ceilings. However, that question is an admission of multiple high ceilings.
The Defense has a few older players on it, but overall they are in their primes, and have been there, seen that. This is not a group that will get rattled easily. Even in games when we fall behind early.
While it would be silly to expect this team to win the NFC East this season, it would be equally as foolish to write them off. There is still a proven core of veterans who know how to motivate each other, hold themselves and each other accountable, and more importantly overcome adversity.
This team is a broad sword, not a scalpel. It’s roster is designed to either overwhelm with physical traits; or present match-up puzzles that defy classic solutions. This is not a finesse team. It’s built to be a brawler. That said, if the brawler can actually take a punch or two…the entire NFC, not just the East, could have a problem on its hands.
AS an Eagles fan, I avoid writing about rival teams or players unless it’s truly newsworthy. Otherwise, I ignore them and focus on MY team: The Philadelphia Eagles. That being said, I have dirt to dish. So pull up a chair and let’s talk some shit.
Cowboys QB Dak Prescott refuses to reveal whether or not he’s been vaccinated for Covid-19. When asked about it, he incorrectly invoked HIPAA, and then dived into a stream of meaningless double-talk. This basically says that he hasn’t gotten vaccinated. Whether he’s leaning that way or is staunchly opposed, remains to be seen.
Frankly, it’s not important one way or the other. I’d be telling you a lie to say that I cared at all.
I’m not saying that I wish Covid on the man. I don’t. What I’m here to talk about, is how truly Karmic it would be, if in his situation, he contracted Covid-19. For no damned reason at all.
He just signed one of the most lucrative contracts in NFL history, and the vaccine is totally FREE. Doesn’t cost a single red cent. Even if it wasn’t available in his neighborhood, the Cowboys medical staff would happily drive it to his home to vaccinate him. I’m sure they’d even wade through his pool to do it, as he lay on an inflatable chair.
He has NO BUSINESS getting this disease. NONE.
So if he gets it by himself and has to quarantine, his decision could cost his team one or two games. If he’s part of an outbreak, then his team may need to automatically hand over a win (or two, or three) to whomever they were scheduled to play.
Prescott could avoid all of this now, by being vaccinated. Instead, the plan is to keep QB Ben “Bring It On” DiNucci,
or preseason hall of fame QB Cooper Rush, loose and ready to go. This is because Prescott’s new deal made signing a good back-up, too expensive. (And Chicago lied to QB Andy Dalton.)
While Covid has a high survival rate, often victims are left with long-term symptoms like difficulty breathing, shortness of breath, fatigue, symptoms that worsen after physical activities, difficulty thinking or concentrating (brain fog), and lots of other crap. These people are often called Covid Long Haulers, or said to have Long Covid, or Post-acute Covid., by the CDC
Significantly more victims suffer these long-term effects, than die from the disease, and that’s what poses the bigger danger for Prescott. An NFL athlete can’t play while dragging around an oxygen tank. A QB can’t be at his best with brain fog. If walking up 10 stairs can worsen symptoms for the average person, imagine what an NFL game would do to Prescott.
If Prescott contracts Covid, even when he gets back, he may never be the same player, ever again. It could derail his career, like Guillain-Barre Syndrome did with retired C Travis Frederick. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, would be stuck with a lemon that he owes 126M$. It would be years before the Cowboys could be competitive in the free agent market.
As bad as QB Carson Wentz’s situation looks for the Eagles in 2021, Prescott not being vaccinated could make the Cowboys look a lot worse for a third of a decade. Given that Jones is no spring chicken at 78, there’s a chance that he may not even live to see the Cowboys get from under (as Jones put it), overpaying Prescott.
Again, I’m not saying that I wish Covid on him. I don’t. I’m saying, given the life choices that his fellow players make, not knowing where they’ve been, or who with… To risk that? So is this how a Franchise QB is supposed to behave? As the saying goes, play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
AFTER weeks of speculation over whether we would, the Philadelphia Eagles have finally signed free agent CB Steve Nelson, formerly of the Steelers and the Chiefs. One of the loudest voices trying to lure him here, was CB Darius Slay. By most peoples calculations (and Slay’s), this should give the Eagles a shutdown duo. Especially with the coming changes to the defensive scheme.
I do however, have a couple of questions. Why were we able sign him? Why only a 1 year, 4M$ deal? Many Eagles fans will say “Shut up! Just take the gift!”, but I’m not wired like that. I crave knowledge. I didn’t see any stories about him being arrested or anything like that. So maybe he’s not a great locker room guy? I dunno.
Nelson is just 28, has been durable, and started a ton. He’s also been moved on from, twice in his career. The two coaches to do so, were Andy Reid and Mike Tomlin, respectively. Those are not coaches known for giving up on players. Especially promising ones.
For some reason though, he’d just been sitting in free agency limbo since March. While a few teams were kicking the tires, it was reported that they (and the Eagles), had reservations about paying him north of 3M$ per year.
Honestly, 3M per year for CB with Nelson’s resume, doesn’t seem that expensive to me. The idea of being able to negate a 20M$ WR with a 3M$ CB, strikes me as a win. What confuses me, is now that the leap has been made, why only one year? Why the lack of commitment? Why are we still not sold on him?
When General Manager Howie Roseman inked Slay last year, it was for 3 years, 50M$, with 26M guaranteed. Slay was 29, had been durable, and started a ton.
Despite Nelson ticking those same boxes, his deal has me wondering why the Eagles didn’t try to lock him down, before he plays his way into a more lucrative deal.
It’s not like there’s going to be an open competition for the spot, because he’ll plenty of opportunity to shine. Nelson and Slay (barring injury), are your starters at CB in 2021. This is the reality. The Eagles aren’t spending 4 mil on a guy, to watch him ride pine.
Rookie CB Zech MacPherson may get to challenge for the spot in 2022, but any fantasies he entertained of winning a starting role in 2021, are officially dead. Still, I’ll be keeping an eye on how Nelson gels with his teammates. Especially with everyone predicting that we’ll have a rough season.
RIGHTS were not trampled. No freedoms were infringed. The NFL simply said that if an outbreak costs the league, it will also cost the players. That was me paraphrasing, but that’s essentially the jist of it. Yet over these last two days, the amount of arguing this has generated has been insane. So here’s my two cents.
The players have every right to choose whether or not they’ll be vaccinated against Covid-19. Over the last few months, the NFL as an organization has made it abundantly clear that they understand the players right to choose. That said, the NFL has also made it clear that in the event of a team-wide outbreak of the virus, games may have to be forfeited.
While no player’s right to choose was in any way infringed, each NFL owner is telling his roster:
And that is THEIR right.
If players choosing not get vaccinated leads to a team-wide outbreak, the players may have to eat not only the loss of those game-checks, but also a game loss, which will affect playoff positioning eventually.
It’s entirely possible that your favorite team could go, let’s say 8 – 9 instead of 10 – 7, due to a two week shutdown for Covid. Now imagine that just one of those forfeits was to a division rival. If your team finished second (again 8 – 9) behind a 9 – 8 division rival, and missed a playoff berth, as a fan you’d be angry. Teammates however, would be at each other’s throats. In some cases literally.
It makes me wonder how many “on the bubble” situations will come down to a vaccinated player being prioritized, over a slightly more talented player, who isn’t vaccinated. I’m of course talking back-ups, not starters. But every unvaccinated player is one who could help generate one or more automatic losses. Imagine losing games without even getting to try. That’s what this is!
This edict from the NFL will not automatically get vaccines into players arms. What it will do is call their commitment to winning into question. Not just by teammates, but when contracts have to be negotiated. When sponsors are looking for a face to endorse their offerings. When votes are cast for Canton.
The NFL recognizes that the players have the freedom to choose. However, they are also recognizing a seldom acknowledged truth about freedom. Like the coin flipped before every game, freedom is on one side and consequence is on the other. Whenever you can only see one side of the coin, it is being rested on, it is being propped up by, the side that you don’t.
I for one, am happy about this. In recent years, far too many Americans have been screaming about freedom, without really giving any thought to the responsibility that comes with wielding it. Perhaps this will help spark some well overdue conversations about it.
OVER the decades, Eagles fans are used to hearing “I believe we can win with the guys in this locker room.” We’ve also heard (with regard to wish list free agents), “We’re not thinking about anyone who’s not on this roster.” As Eagles fans we’re used to quotes like that. Which makes what CB Darius Slay is doing, stick out so much.
Slay has been campaigning for weeks now, to bring in free agent CB Steve Nelson. Let’s clear something up right away. I’m not saying that Slay is wrong to want to add Nelson. I think Nelson is better than every Eagles CB aside from Slay. There is no doubting that he would be an upgrade in talent.
However, unlike Slay, I’m not on the Eagles roster. There is no way for Slay to say that Nelson should be the other starting CB, without saying that CB Avonte Maddox should take a seat. Jumping up and down and shouting for a free agent, is not a vote of confidence in Maddox. In fact, it’s saying that Slay doubts that Maddox can get the job done.
It’s a slick way of calling Maddox trash, without repeatedly brushing his feet with a broom. For weeks now, I’ve sat back and waited for the local media to ask “Did Slay call Maddox, trash?” As usual they ducked the obvious story, for fear they’d ruffle feathers. (See what I did there?)
So I’m here asking the question. Did Slay-
ULTERIOR MOTIVE ALERT! ULTERIOR MOTIVE ALERT!
Okay, okay. I only asked that question, to ask a more important one. If Eagles players can openly call Maddox trash, how far is that honesty allowed to roam? Let me give you some examples:
Is anyone going to call out C Jason Kelce and G Isaac Seumalo for ending up in a QB’s lap too often? At what point can teammates tell WR Jalen Reagor that his routes should be as well run as his mouth? Is it okay to say, that when he starts, QB Jalen hurts the Offense? (See what I did there? Don’t act like you didn’t like it!)
I say this because we are at the beginning of a new culture here. Players baptizing each other is over and out the door. That went away with OCFrank Reich, TE Trey Burton, QB Nick Foles, QB Carson Wentz, and HC Doug Pederson. This is a new locker room. And for their opening trick, we have a player ever so slyly, being thrown under a bus.
Honestly, where else could you go, to get such a no bullshit perspective, like this? Admit it. I spoil you.
LOOK at that! The Bengals have converted their field from grass to mattresses. Not only has it already improved the look of their stadium, but their owner thinks it will extend, or at least not keep shortening, the lifespan of QB Joe Burrow. The team is also asking the league to allow Burrow to wear several pillows duct taped to his helmet. It’s either that or spend the money to protect him.
Steelers LB T.J. Watt increased his sack total for the third straight year in a row. Due to notching 16.5 sacks, he continues to be above criticism. This is despite sporting a missed tackle percentage of over 10 percent, in every season of his career. If only there were some sort of clue about how to fix the defense…
The carriage turned back into a pumpkin, and the horses turned back into rats, as the Browns returned to reality and went 3 – 14 this year.
Somewhere out there is a desperate Browns fan, carrying a clear, platform shoe, and searching for Princess Odell.
Ravens K Justin Tucker’s rap/opera album “Come Kick It Wit’ Me” shot to the top of the Italian pop music charts this year. Sighting how he didn’t need this “NFL boll sheed no mo’ ”, Tucker announced his retirement. After which he flipped the double-bird, as he rode away barefoot in a kiddie pool, which was situated in the bed of an El Camino. There was no water in the pool.
Raise your hand if you predicted the Lions going 14 – 3, getting a first round bye, and winning it all.
“It’s better than drinkable water!” was how one fan described the Detroit Lions Super Bowl parade. Thousands of fans came out to celebrate and cheer their team, not long before tens of thousands of muggers descended on both the fans and the players. The car-jacking of a parade float would be the low-point of the day, and perhaps the lowest in all of American history.
After a just barely failing to qualify for a wild card berth, a 9 – 8 Minnesota team is still unsure if they’re a bad team that frequently overachieves, or a good team that chokes at the slightest sign of true relevance.
As Chicago continues their search for a passer, Bears QB Justin Fields was traded to Buffalo for QB Mitch Trubisky. One Chicago football fan said “Eh, it’s good we went an’got a veteran quarterback now, ‘cause Fields played like a rookie. I mean, why din’t he just look at what Tommy Bradley does in Tampa, then come right out and copy exactly what he saw?How hard could dat be, right?? Anyways, Trubisky sounds like a good Polish name. It feels familiar. I like it.”
After another implosion in the second round of the playoffs, QB Aaron Rodgers is continuing to act like he’s doing Packers fans a favor, by allowing them to overpay him millions more than he’s ever truly deserved. Perhaps Green Bay should have double checked for a discount.
After not allowing fans in to SoFi Stadium at all in 2020, the LA Chargers opened their arms to their loyal, fickle, frequently disinterested fan base. In a stadium that seats 70,000, the Chargers drew an average of 28,000 to their games. Somewhere the ghost of Al Davis is laughing so hard, that he’s gasping for air.
Despite being heavily favored by odds-makers, the Raiders Super Bowl loss continues to confound people. Suddenly retired Raider QB Derek Carr, could not be reached for comment as he was out on his yacht. The gold one, not the one made entirely out of stacks of money. His agent Pete Rose also declined comment.
The Chiefs were expected to have a more difficult road, but no one thought they’d miss the playoffs. As a disciplinary measure for yet another violation of team player conduct policy, Andy Reid ate WR Tyreek Hill, prior to the final game of the preseason. When asked if he regretted having eaten the WR, coach Reid responded “Listen, you’d expect athlete meat to be tough, but Tyreek, he was something special. Didn’t even need a marinade. Wait. What was the question?”
The Denver Broncos are trying to decide whether to screw over either another old RB, or another young QB, during this offseason. Either way, it will most certainly cripple the team’s offense next year. Their fans of course, will again feel like they’ve been stabbed directly in the face, when the team spends their top pick on a WR.
The 49ers, who paid QB Jimmy Garoppolo 26M$ to sit and watch rookie QB Trey Lance have an up and down year, will still owe Garoppolo 27M$ next year. Worse yet, they likely have to endure at least one more year with him on the roster, as he won’t waive his no-trade clause. That is, unless he gets an offer he likes, from a team that won’t mind him throwing with his eyes closed. Still, the defense was good enough for the team to post a 10 – 7 record.
Seattle RB Rashaad Penny was surprised to learn that the team is declining to pick up his 5th year option. Penny was selected in the first round of the 2018 Draft, but didn’t get his first start until 2021. In that game, he had one carry for 8 broken tackles, and a 63 yard touchdown. It also resulted in a torn hamstring which ended his season. Tore it right off the bone! When asked whether Penny is “a bust”, GM John Schneider, shrieked, burst into tears, and attempted to answer questions. He however, couldn’t be understood through his high-pitched, racking sobs. Seattle predictably bowed out in the second round of the playoffs.
No matter how much talent Arizona adds, sub .500 is the best God will allow. In other news, QB Kyler Murray married the dancing hula girl on the dash board of J.J. Watt’s car.
It was a beautiful ceremony. When Murray stood on a chair to kiss his bride, there wasn’t a dry eye to be seen, according to Stevie Wonder, who was told that he was in attendance.
The Rams added a ton of weapons in the offseason, but neglected to help their offensive line. This led to QB Matt Stafford being lost for the year in Week Two, and also left the run game stuck in neutral since the preseason. Give you one guess what they’ll be taking with their first round pick this year. Oh wait! They won’t have a first rounder this year. Or next year. Dopes.
After partially tearing the meniscus in his right knee in training camp, it was quickly thought by both QB Carson Wentz and the Colts front office, that the smartest thing would be for Carson to just rest, relax and let that tear take 3 to 5 months to heal on its own. While the Eagles paid him 34 million dollars.
Though Wentz played only half the season, taking just under 50% of the snaps, the Colts almost rallied to make the playoffs, going 7 – 1 with Wentz starting. Pretty smart trade. Especially since Wentz didn’t count against the Colts 2021 salary cap.
On a roster that features RB’s David Johnson, Mark Ingram, and Phillip Lindsay, you probably would never guess who led the team in rushing yards. It was Texans QB Tyrod Taylor, who spent the season running for his goddamned life. In the hopes of not suffering another punctured lung, Taylor racked up a career best 836 yards. Meanwhile, R. Kelly is alleging that QB Deshaun Watson inappropriately… (No. I’m going to draw a line here. Gotta preserve a little class.)
WE WILL SUCK YOUR DICK!!!! That’s the Jaguars latest promotion to get people to come to the stadium. Lord knows no one wants to watch them play football. Look at all the upgrades! Super-fast WiFi, an impressive sound system, they put in a party deck, a pool… They’ve done everything they can to avoid improving the team. Now the team has executives slobbing knobs. And they’re all so bad at it! C’mon folks! More spit, less teeth. This is basic stuff!
The Titans were the favorite to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, until QB Ryan Tannehill tore his Achilles in Week One, and QB DeShone Kizer “Soze” stepped in and killed the whole team. Kizer continued the 0 – 15 magic that he had in Cleveland, going 0 – 7 before being benched for QB Logan Woodside… who then promptly tore his ACL, meaning that Kizer would come back out, and finish the season. Kizer went 0 – 15 (again), even though he also lost the two games started by other QB’s.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have increased their reward for information about head coach Bruce Arian’s whereabouts. Police are looking at DT Ndamukong Suh as a person of interest because, well… Because he’s fucking Ndamukong Suh! I mean come on!
With the retirement of QB Drew Brees last year, the Saints 6 – 11 season shows that they have gone back to being the hapless, talent squandering, afterthoughts that have historically always been. Fans are taking it well, saying that their relevance was nice while it lasted.
The Falcons 5 – 12 record was predicted immediately after they traded WR Julio Jones to Tennessee last year. For a team with no defense, keeping Jones to go with their other weapons, would have made outscoring opponents easy. But Atlanta said “Fuck that!” and thew their easy button out of a tenth floor window. Nowwww look at them. Just look. SMDH.
Panthers RB Christian McCaffrey spent this season being 25 going on 35. Bouncing back from an injury, while being the focal point of an offense, with a QB trying to re-hab himself from having been a Jet, did no favors for McCaffrey. His 663 yards in 10 starts, will likely have the Panthers spending yet another late round draft pick on a RB, who is ill-suited to ever being a starter. Or a contributor. These guys just can’t learn.
The NFL finally made good on its threat to banish the Jets, who can no longer be referred to, as a “professional” football team. As the NCAA has not yet agreed to take them, the Jets have no official league designation yet. The CFL hasn’t offered a verbal or written response as to whether the Jets can seek asylum in Canada. However, the CFL’s pursed lips and side-eye, have offered a very strong hint about where they stand on the issue.
Bill Belichick has coached his last game for the Patriots. He is expected to take the job in Tampa Bay, after coach Bruce Arians suddenly went missing. QB Tom Brady is telling Congress that they cannot search his house.
Buffalo WR and anti-vaxxer Cole Beasley is recovering from the Delta variant of Covid-19. Luckily his access to the best medical treatment that NFL money can buy, put the odds for a full recovery, heavily in his favor. His wife Krystin however, was not an NFL employee. Get vaccinated.
After having changed his name from Jomal Wiltz to Jamal Perry in 2020, the IRS caught up with the Dolphins CB anyway. This goes to show, if you’re going to change your name, do it before you’re on television at least 17 times a year.
For the second year in a row, Washington won 7 games! While their 8 losses are fewer than the 9 from a year ago, their 2 ties offer little in the way of optimism. Because of that, there is currently a split in their fan base. Half of their fans argue that the 7 – 8 – 2 team, is an 8 – 8 team (“Because two half wins, equals one whole one. Dummy!”). Meanwhile, other half of their fan base sees the team as 7 – 8, and thus improved over 7 – 9 (“Because thems two ties cancels theyselves out. Stupid!”). Either way, the rest of us just see a degenerate, losing team that missed the playoffs.
The giants didn’t have to depend on a division rival to get to the playoffs this year, because they used StubHub! They got a great price, on great seats, and watched the Lions model the sort of franchise New York hopes to become. Maybe next year the giants won’t go 5 – 12, and they’ll qualify for a playoff berth on their own. Hey! The giants in the playoffs! Look at me! I got jokes!
The Cowboys went 12 – 5 and easily won their division. With a 5,000 yard passer, a 1,700 yard rusher, and THREE 1,000 yard receivers, right out of the gate, Dallas took the NFL by storm. Which is why their first round dismantling in the playoffs was so surprising. The 41 – 6 walloping at the hands of QB Joe Flacco, will forever be known in NFL circles as “The Dall-Ass Whipping”.
The Carson Wentz trade didn’t yield the Eagles a first round pick, and QB Jalen Hurtswas so bad that he was benched by Week Nine. Also, Head Coach Nick Sirianni retiring mid-season to join a professional Rochambeau league, didn’t surprise as many people as you’d think.
After which the hapless Eagles managed to rally and stumble into the playoffs as a wild card. At which point they utterly shelled the Cowboys 41 – 6, before losing to Detroit in the second round.
DISCLAIMER: If you use this article for gambling or betting purposes, you’re an idiot and your money is safer with other people. Don’t be dunce. Stop gambling on sports.
HOWIE is likely going to be fired, if QB Jalen Hurts doesn’t play like a potential star in 2021. Despite what some fans thought about QB Carson Wentz, Owner Jeff Lurie knew he had a bonafide Franchise QB, and that those are difficult to find. Still, General ManagerHowie Roseman, convinced Lurie to trade the bird in his hand, for a QB factory in the bush.
There’s a high-stakes game going on, folks! Don’t miss the real action.
This isn’t about Hurts or Wentz. It never was. It’s about the “QB factory” that Howie later regretted mentioning: “Of some of the things that I’ve done this season, I certainly regret that comment about quarterback factory,” Roseman said. “Really it was just in terms of how — the importance of the position around the league, the importance of the position to this organization and really a reflection of our experiences with backup quarterbacks when we did that.”
Notice that he didn’t say that he regrets the idea, or the concept. He said that he regrets the comment. He regrets that he slipped and revealed to us, what was really on his mind. He regrets that we know. This was never about one player over another. It’s about a philosophy.
The Hurts pick is about transforming the QB position into just another position.
By default of how long it takes to develop a QB, they are a huge investment. So the ones with the best raw traits, come at a premium at the top of drafts. Few of those pan out, so it naturally skyrockets the price when a proven, young, veteran QB hits the open market. It’s why teams do everything they can, to keep those proven, young, veteran QB’s from hitting the open market. Often overpaying them.
The NFL was able to control other positions by killing off the idea of star players, who are true specialists:
Star RB’s became RB by committee.
The FB, H-Back, and blocking TE positions are practically extinct.
True #1 WR’s became more expendable with the adoption of Spread concepts.
On defense, players without a hard designation are becoming the norm. Whether it’s all of these CB/S, or those 215 – 220 pound LB/S tweeners, or the Edge players… None of that used to be how football worked, even 10 years ago. None of it.
The QB position is harder to redefine and control, but it must be done. And it must happen SOON.
The NFL needs to find a way to quickly develop QB’s who can be productive, not just to control investment costs (like draft capital), and operating costs (like contract terms), but so that the QB position can be platooned. Yes, platooned. Think about Hurts and Wentz. Or Drew Brees and QB Taysom Hill. Think about Tim Tebow now back in the NFL, at 33.
This is an experiment to figure out how best to phase out the “every game” starter. Instead, coming up with something more akin to a baseball starting pitcher. A guy who’s relied on only to start a percentage of the games, instead of all of them. Sure you’ll have an Ace, but he won’t be your Franchise.
If the NFL doesn’t do this, there is no way that they can expand beyond 18 regular season games in a season. Also, do you see the contract that QB Pat Mahomes signed? Or the one that QB Dak Prescott signed, despite owner Jerry Jones admitted to overpaying? Platooned QB’s would have far less leverage at the bargaining table.
That’s where Hurts comes in. Hurts was drafted “sort of” high. Right on the heels of Wentz winning a division, after having put practice squanders on his back. With a franchise QB like Wentz, drafting Hurts made no sense.
Then packages were added to get Hurts on the field early in his career, despite that fact that it ruins a starting QB’s rhythm. Disrupting our Franchise QB’s rhythm made no sense.
Suddenly Wentz became a turnover machine, when taking care of the ball had been the absolute cornerstone of his career. Yet no serious adjustments were ever made to help him. (I even wrote about it back in November of 2020.) That also made no sense.
Except in hindsight, all of it makes perfect sense. It’s an experiment. The Eagles made sure they started with a good, but not franchise quality QB (lower draft capital). The speed of the game is what young players say takes the most time to adapt to. So Hurts was spoon-fed a little time here and a little time there, until the game slowed down for him.
Understand, this is the Eagles version of the experiment, but the entire league has a stake in it. Trust and believe that many eyes follow this. Roseman’s experiment requires Hurts to not just play, but start. So, Wentz was removed from the equation. He had to be. Now Hurts is front and center, and barring a preseason injury, he will start.
That all being said, if Hurts turns out to be the formula, and the QB factory opens in Philadelphia, Jeff Lurie will be the guy who hired the inventor of “The (NFL) Process”. However, if Hurts fails, Lurie will have been talked into spending years of investment money, on a single spin of Roulette. That likely means Roseman would be fired.
High-stakes game going on, folks! Don’t get caught missing the real action.
WASHINGTON Football Team head coach, Riverboat Ron Rivera, announced that Washington’s training camp will feature an open competition for starting QB. This is HILARIOUS, and once again proof that you can take the ‘R’ off the helmet, but you can’t take it outta the team.
Let’s get a look at the competitors in this competition.
Their big free agent addition was QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, to whom they gave a 1 year, 10M$ deal. (The numbers matter, so keep an eye on them. Don’t just glaze over them.) The press has spent the last couple of months, lathering up over the idea of “Fitzmagic” teaming with WR Terry McLaurin. McLaurin himself has also expressed a great deal of exci-
Well fuck all that! It’s a competition, bitches! Ya heard?!
Our next competitor, is Taylor Heinicke. His claim to fame? Not getting blown-out, while losing in the first round of the playoffs. Heinicke has a 2 year deal worth 4.7M$.
Last and certainly least, is Kyle Allen. You may remember him from such disasters as: Trying to replace Cam Newton in Carolina; or trying to steal the starting job from Dwayne Haskins in Washington; or Karma paying his ankle a visit in 2020. He’s been handsomely rewarded for those exploits, with a 1 year, 850K$ deal. And he has a chance to start!
So let me get this straight. Washington is going to give Fitzpatrick 10 mill this year, just so they can start a guy making 8.5% that??! No. Stop. Just… just stop. First of all, that level of stupidity can’t be possible. Even in Washington. Secondly, illegal immigrants are protesting the wage disparity between Fitz and Allen. Many of them think that Allen should sneak into Mexico, to find better opportunities.
This “QB competition” is as bogus as the one in Philadelphia, between QB Jalen Hurts and his back-up Joe Flacco. If Philly finds a way to trade for QB DeShaun Watson, then sure, things could change. Otherwise, unless Jalen hurts, he’s the starter.
Washington is Fitzpatrick’s NINTH team, and he doesn’t have a winning record as the starter of any of the previous eight. His best run was 6 – 6 with Houston, and still, currently he is the best option Washington has.
After last season, Washington fans have had a taste of hope. Now they have expectations. To start Heinicke or Allen at this point, would be inhumane. It would be the equivalent of giving a toddler $500, lighting him on fire, and sending him into Walmart alone, on Black Friday. You’d have no right to expect anything good to come of it.
There is no QB competition. There can’t be. There isn’t a large enough worldwide supply of stupidity, for Washington to fuck up that badly. I hate the Redsk- Football Team, and even I think more of them than that. They gotta make it Fitz. Because nothing else does.