Super Bowl

2021 NFL PREDICTIONS

Posted by The BEAST on 2021/07/19
Posted in: Conversations, Crazy Talk, Defense, Fans, Front Office (F.O.), NFL, Offense, Players, Preview, Roster, Super Bowl, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

AFC NORTH!

LOOK at that! The Bengals have converted their field from grass to mattresses. Not only has it already improved the look of their stadium, but their owner thinks it will extend, or at least not keep shortening, the lifespan of QB Joe Burrow. The team is also asking the league to allow Burrow to wear several pillows duct taped to his helmet. It’s either that or spend the money to protect him.

Steelers LB T.J. Watt increased his sack total for the third straight year in a row. Due to notching 16.5 sacks, he continues to be above criticism. This is despite sporting a missed tackle percentage of over 10 percent, in every season of his career. If only there were some sort of clue about how to fix the defense…

The carriage turned back into a pumpkin, and the horses turned back into rats, as the Browns returned to reality and went 3 – 14 this year.

Somewhere out there is a desperate Browns fan, carrying a clear, platform shoe, and searching for Princess Odell.

Ravens K Justin Tucker’s rap/opera album “Come Kick It Wit’ Me” shot to the top of the Italian pop music charts this year. Sighting how he didn’t need this “NFL boll sheed no mo’ ”, Tucker announced his retirement. After which he flipped the double-bird, as he rode away barefoot in a kiddie pool, which was situated in the bed of an El Camino. There was no water in the pool.

NFC NORTH!

Raise your hand if you predicted the Lions going 14 – 3, getting a first round bye, and winning it all.

“It’s better than drinkable water!” was how one fan described the Detroit Lions Super Bowl parade. Thousands of fans came out to celebrate and cheer their team, not long before tens of thousands of muggers descended on both the fans and the players. The car-jacking of a parade float would be the low-point of the day, and perhaps the lowest in all of American history. 

After a just barely failing to qualify for a wild card berth, a 9 – 8 Minnesota team is still unsure if they’re a bad team that frequently overachieves, or a good team that chokes at the slightest sign of true relevance.

As Chicago continues their search for a passer, Bears QB Justin Fields was traded to Buffalo for QB Mitch Trubisky. One Chicago football fan said “Eh, it’s good we went an’ got a veteran quarterback now, ‘cause Fields played like a rookie. I mean, why din’t he just look at what Tommy Bradley does in Tampa, then come right out and copy exactly what he saw? How hard could dat be, right?? Anyways, Trubisky sounds like a good Polish name. It feels familiar. I like it.”

After another implosion in the second round of the playoffs, QB Aaron Rodgers is continuing to act like he’s doing Packers fans a favor, by allowing them to overpay him millions more than he’s ever truly deserved. Perhaps Green Bay should have double checked for a discount.

AFC WEST!

After not allowing fans in to SoFi Stadium at all in 2020, the LA Chargers opened their arms to their loyal, fickle, frequently disinterested fan base. In a stadium that seats 70,000, the Chargers drew an average of 28,000 to their games. Somewhere the ghost of Al Davis is laughing so hard, that he’s gasping for air.

Despite being heavily favored by odds-makers, the Raiders Super Bowl loss continues to confound people. Suddenly retired Raider QB Derek Carr, could not be reached for comment as he was out on his yacht. The gold one, not the one made entirely out of stacks of money. His agent Pete Rose also declined comment.

The Chiefs were expected to have a more difficult road, but no one thought they’d miss the playoffs. As a disciplinary measure for yet another violation of team player conduct policy, Andy Reid ate WR Tyreek Hill, prior to the final game of the preseason. When asked if he regretted having eaten the WR, coach Reid responded “Listen, you’d expect athlete meat to be tough, but Tyreek, he was something special. Didn’t even need a marinade. Wait. What was the question?”

The Denver Broncos are trying to decide whether to screw over either another old RB, or another young QB, during this offseason. Either way, it will most certainly cripple the team’s offense next year. Their fans of course, will again feel like they’ve been stabbed directly in the face, when the team spends their top pick on a WR.

NFC WEST!

The 49ers, who paid QB Jimmy Garoppolo 26M$ to sit and watch rookie QB Trey Lance have an up and down year, will still owe Garoppolo 27M$ next year. Worse yet, they likely have to endure at least one more year with him on the roster, as he won’t waive his no-trade clause. That is, unless he gets an offer he likes, from a team that won’t mind him throwing with his eyes closed. Still, the defense was good enough for the team to post a 10 – 7 record.

Seattle RB Rashaad Penny was surprised to learn that the team is declining to pick up his 5th year option. Penny was selected in the first round of the 2018 Draft, but didn’t get his first start until 2021. In that game, he had one carry for 8 broken tackles, and a 63 yard touchdown. It also resulted in a torn hamstring which ended his season. Tore it right off the bone! When asked whether Penny is “a bust”, GM John Schneider, shrieked, burst into tears, and attempted to answer questions. He however, couldn’t be understood through his high-pitched, racking sobs. Seattle predictably bowed out in the second round of the playoffs.

No matter how much talent Arizona adds, sub .500 is the best God will allow. In other news, QB Kyler Murray married the dancing hula girl on the dash board of J.J. Watt’s car.

It was a beautiful ceremony. When Murray stood on a chair to kiss his bride, there wasn’t a dry eye to be seen, according to Stevie Wonder, who was told that he was in attendance.

The Rams added a ton of weapons in the offseason, but neglected to help their offensive line. This led to QB Matt Stafford being lost for the year in Week Two, and also left the run game stuck in neutral since the preseason. Give you one guess what they’ll be taking with their first round pick this year. Oh wait! They won’t have a first rounder this year. Or next year. Dopes.

AFC SOUTH!

After partially tearing the meniscus in his right knee in training camp, it was quickly thought by both QB Carson Wentz and the Colts front office, that the smartest thing would be for Carson to just rest, relax and let that tear take 3 to 5 months to heal on its own. While the Eagles paid him 34 million dollars.

Though Wentz played only half the season, taking just under 50% of the snaps, the Colts almost rallied to make the playoffs, going 7 – 1 with Wentz starting. Pretty smart trade. Especially since Wentz didn’t count against the Colts 2021 salary cap.

On a roster that features RB’s David Johnson, Mark Ingram, and Phillip Lindsay, you probably would never guess who led the team in rushing yards. It was Texans QB Tyrod Taylor, who spent the season running for his goddamned life. In the hopes of not suffering another punctured lung, Taylor racked up a career best 836 yards. Meanwhile, R. Kelly is alleging that QB Deshaun Watson inappropriately… (No. I’m going to draw a line here. Gotta preserve a little class.)

WE WILL SUCK YOUR DICK!!!! That’s the Jaguars latest promotion to get people to come to the stadium. Lord knows no one wants to watch them play football. Look at all the upgrades! Super-fast WiFi, an impressive sound system, they put in a party deck, a pool… They’ve done everything they can to avoid improving the team. Now the team has executives slobbing knobs. And they’re all so bad at it! C’mon folks! More spit, less teeth. This is basic stuff!

The Titans were the favorite to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, until QB Ryan Tannehill tore his Achilles in Week One, and QB DeShone Kizer “Soze” stepped in and killed the whole team. Kizer continued the 0 – 15 magic that he had in Cleveland, going 0 – 7 before being benched for QB Logan Woodside… who then promptly tore his ACL, meaning that Kizer would come back out, and finish the season. Kizer went 0 – 15 (again), even though he also lost the two games started by other QB’s.

NFC SOUTH.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have increased their reward for information about head coach Bruce Arian’s whereabouts. Police are looking at DT Ndamukong Suh as a person of interest because, well… Because he’s fucking Ndamukong Suh! I mean come on!

With the retirement of QB Drew Brees last year, the Saints 6 – 11 season shows that they have gone back to being the hapless, talent squandering, afterthoughts that have historically always been. Fans are taking it well, saying that their relevance was nice while it lasted.

The Falcons 5 – 12 record was predicted immediately after they traded WR Julio Jones to Tennessee last year. For a team with no defense, keeping Jones to go with their other weapons, would have made outscoring opponents easy. But Atlanta said “Fuck that!” and thew their easy button out of a tenth floor window. Nowwww look at them. Just look. SMDH.

Panthers RB Christian McCaffrey spent this season being 25 going on 35. Bouncing back from an injury, while being the focal point of an offense, with a QB trying to re-hab himself from having been a Jet, did no favors for McCaffrey. His 663 yards in 10 starts, will likely have the Panthers spending yet another late round draft pick on a RB, who is ill-suited to ever being a starter. Or a contributor. These guys just can’t learn.

AFC EAST!

The NFL finally made good on its threat to banish the Jets, who can no longer be referred to, as a “professional” football team. As the NCAA has not yet agreed to take them, the Jets have no official league designation yet. The CFL hasn’t offered a verbal or written response as to whether the Jets can seek asylum in Canada. However, the CFL’s pursed lips and side-eye, have offered a very strong hint about where they stand on the issue.

Bill Belichick has coached his last game for the Patriots. He is expected to take the job in Tampa Bay, after coach Bruce Arians suddenly went missing. QB Tom Brady is telling Congress that they cannot search his house.

Buffalo WR and anti-vaxxer Cole Beasley is recovering from the Delta variant of Covid-19. Luckily his access to the best medical treatment that NFL money can buy, put the odds for a full recovery, heavily in his favor. His wife Krystin however, was not an NFL employee. Get vaccinated.

After having changed his name from Jomal Wiltz to Jamal Perry in 2020, the IRS caught up with the Dolphins CB anyway. This goes to show, if you’re going to change your name, do it before you’re on television at least 17 times a year.

NFC EAST!!!

For the second year in a row, Washington won 7 games! While their 8 losses are fewer than the 9 from a year ago, their 2 ties offer little in the way of optimism. Because of that, there is currently a split in their fan base. Half of their fans argue that the 7 – 8 – 2 team, is an 8 – 8 team (“Because two half wins, equals one whole one. Dummy!”). Meanwhile, other half of their fan base sees the team as 7 – 8, and thus improved over 7 – 9 (“Because thems two ties cancels theyselves out. Stupid!”). Either way, the rest of us just see a degenerate, losing team that missed the playoffs.

The giants didn’t have to depend on a division rival to get to the playoffs this year, because they used StubHub! They got a great price, on great seats, and watched the Lions model the sort of franchise New York hopes to become. Maybe next year the giants won’t go 5 – 12, and they’ll qualify for a playoff berth on their own. Hey! The giants in the playoffs! Look at me! I got jokes!

The Cowboys went 12 – 5 and easily won their division. With a 5,000 yard passer, a 1,700 yard rusher, and THREE 1,000 yard receivers, right out of the gate, Dallas took the NFL by storm. Which is why their first round dismantling in the playoffs was so surprising. The 41 – 6 walloping at the hands of QB Joe Flacco, will forever be known in NFL circles as “The Dall-Ass Whipping”.

The Carson Wentz trade didn’t yield the Eagles a first round pick, and QB Jalen Hurts was so bad that he was benched by Week Nine. Also, Head Coach Nick Sirianni retiring mid-season to join a professional Rochambeau league, didn’t surprise as many people as you’d think.

After which the hapless Eagles managed to rally and stumble into the playoffs as a wild card. At which point they utterly shelled the Cowboys 41 – 6, before losing to Detroit in the second round.

DISCLAIMER: If you use this article for gambling or betting purposes, you’re an idiot and your money is safer with other people. Don’t be dunce. Stop gambling on sports.

THE ZACH ERTZ TRADE

Posted by The BEAST on 2021/06/08
Posted in: breakdown, Conversations, Front Office (F.O.), Offense, Players, Rants, Roster, Super Bowl, trade. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

TRADING TE Zach Ertz is stupid. Let me get that on the record right now. I don’t want anybody saying later this season, that I was ever unclear in my language about the move. Trading him, cutting him, doesn’t matter. Ertz being removed from this roster, this year is unwise. Some will argue that 12M$ is too much to spend on an aging player, with diminishing skills.

Okay. Let’s look at that.

His 12M$ cap hit is a large one. That said, the Front Office has already found a way to fit it under our 2021 salary cap. In fact, according to Over The Cap the Eagles are currently 6.4M$ under the cap. So affording Ertz has already been done. That means we can stop trying to make this about money. How about age?

Ertz turns 31 in November. While that is an advanced age for this position, it’s not ancient or even the most advanced age. Current TE’s Travis Kelce, Rob Gronkowski, Jimmy Graham, and Kyle Rudolph are all older than Ertz, (and most Eagles fans would be happy to add any of those).

People bring up age, because they want to either infer, or say outright, that older players will be less durable, miss more games, and thus be less reliable. Last season at age 30, Ertz missed 5 games, due to injury. It was the first time he ever played in fewer than 14 games in a season.

Before suggesting that the misses are tied to Ertz’s age, consider the following: Back-up TE Dallas Goedert, whom the Front Office (and fans) expect to replace Ertz, also missed 5 games with injury. Goedert is 26 years old. Injuries, not age, determines injuries. So quit letting yourself be told, that one means the other.

Well what about Ertz’s diminishing skills? What diminishing skills? Based off of what, the 2020 season?? You go and point out even one, just one, Eagles starter who didn’t take a step backwards in 2020.

Don’t say RB Miles Sanders. He ran for more yards, but his receiving production took a nose dive, and his yards from scrimmage were dramatically down in 2020. Yes, WR Travis Fulgham emerged, but A) He wasn’t a 2019 Eagles starter, and B) He faded badly, down 2020’s stretch. A pandemic of bad offense infected the whole roster. Including Goedert. Including Ertz.

Finally, what on Earth would we be replacing him with? Aside from Ertz and Goedert, the Eagles have five TE’s on the roster. Only one has ever caught a ball in an actual NFL game. One is converting from WR. Another one is converting from QB.

TE Caleb Wilson shows a little promise, and Jason Croom would be a decent #3, but the step down at TE would be huge, if Ertz goes in 2021.

Then again, Head Coach Nick Sirianni isn’t Doug Pederson. He may not like using 12 Personnel (1RB, 2TE), as much as the guy who won a Super Bowl with it, while playing 32 year old TE Brent Celek for a third of the offensive snaps. (Hey! Isn’t 32 older than 31?)

If Sirianni is looking to feature a Slot WR more, then he won’t be using two TE’s very much, and won’t need to have two good ones. That doesn’t help us with talented depth for red zone situations, or insurance vs injury, but you can’t have it all right?

Except right now, we still have Ertz, and his presence is a luxury. Moving him now would be stupid. Just stupid.

EASILY FIXING THE EAGLES

Posted by The BEAST on 2020/11/18
Posted in: Coaching, Conversations, Front Office (F.O.), NFL, Offense, Players, playoffs, Roster, Super Bowl, The 12, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 3 Comments

WE’RE not a good team right now. To not even be .500 this deep into the season, is a solid indicator that we probably aren’t getting home-field throughout. Understand, the Eagles are a bad team in 2020, but they are not a bad organization. So fixing this will be a lot easier than you might think. In fact, I wrote about that, this February in THE 12. 

Before I launch into it, let me hit the qualifiers, just to get them out of the way:

YES, we are still at the head of the division.

YES, it’s likely that with an infusion of talented veterans, this team will improve at least a little.

YES, if this team hits the postseason, it’s possible that we could get hot.

So, by no means am I throwing in the towel. I plan to be here, loud and obnoxious, every damned week with a smile. Truth is, I’ll take a bad Eagles season over no season at all. It sure beats having to endure yet another loss of something we all enjoy. Even in a bad season, I’m glad I get to root for my Eagles.

So how can I say that this will be easy to fix? First let’s identify the problem. Remember going into this season, we saw a silver lining to our constant injury situation. That silver lining was how much experience our deep bench, and Practice Squad were getting. Lots of experience up and own the roster. In small doses, that IS a great thing.

The issue is how often those players get extended snaps, and even starts. That’s what been necessary for the Eagles. On no other team would CB Avonte Maddox be a starter. Or LB’s Alex Singleton or Duke Riley. Or G’s Sua Opeta and Nate Herbig. Or T’s Jack Driscoll and Matt Pryor. That’s not to say that all of those players are trash, but none of them was penciled in start here, prior to an injury.

You wouldn’t permanently hold a metal bolt with a plastic nut. You wouldn’t long-term drive your car on a doughnut.

Yet this is what the Eagles have had to do for years now. While mixing high quality with lesser quality may buy you a little time, done over a long period, things break down much faster than if you’d mixed good with good.

People don’t compare this 2020 Eagles team against 2019’s or 2018’s. People keep comparing this Eagles team against the 2017 edition. Especially QB Carson Wentz. Given the amount of erosion that has occurred all over this team, the O-Line, RB’s, coaching staff, that’s hardly fair. It also explains what you’re seeing out there.

Now let’s start talking how to fix this. You’ve heard that iron sharpens iron. Imagine if you’re WR Jalen Reagor trying to nail down a starting spot in Training Camp, and your competition is J.J. Arcega-Whiteside. Remember how Ron Jaworski said that Reagor isn’t a disciplined route runner? Didn’t TE Dallas Clark seem to play better, when he was trying to get snaps from TE Zach Ertz?

The solution is simple. Establish a primary back-up, and play favorites. Don’t split snaps evenly behind the starters. Nix heavy rotation at CB, LB, WR. Starve them for snaps. Make the back-ups fight for snaps.

Again, I said all this back in February, in the article ‘STARVE THE KIDS’ . Understand, there is little chance that this can be successfully implemented during the 2020 season. And that’s fine. A bad year fits the Eagles salary cap plans better, anyway.

For example, if WR’s DeSean Jackson and Alshon Jeffery utterly ball-out during the playoffs; or LT Jason Peters makes a few blocks that get him on Sports Center, fans will revolt when they get cut. Especially if we get hot and win the Super Bowl. So this year being a train-wreck is right on schedule.

If Head Coach Doug Pederson wants to see more passion from this team. If he wants to see more of a sense of urgency. If he wants a greater sense of focus. Then he needs to breed a sense of competition, and foster an atmosphere of hunger that drives his roster. That said, Starving The Kids is an easy fix to improve the quality of the 2021 roster. Not just that, but it can be done for free.

AND NOW FOR SOME MAGIC

Posted by The BEAST on 2020/04/25
Posted in: Coaching, Conspiracy Corner, Draft, Front Office (F.O.), Offense, Players, Rivals, Roster, Super Bowl, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Roseman and Wentz
HEY Eagles fans, wanna see a magic trick? You know, it’s bad enough that GM Howie Roseman seems to have taken a contract out on his own team. It’s bad enough that we had to watch roster holes go unfilled, or filled with lower ranked players. But worse than all of that, is rival fans making fun of us, for selecting a QB in the second round of the 2020 NFL Draft.

That magic trick, that I mentioned? I’m going to show you how to wipe that smile, right off of our rivals faces.

Ricky Jay the Cups.jpg

They clown us because QB Carson Wentz is “always injured” right? Well isn’t drafting QB Jalen Hurts a solid way of addressing that in a long-term fashion? QB Nate Sudfeld was just signed to a one year deal, meaning that this year Hurts gets to sit, and only do package work. For 2020 that’s likely how it goes, even if Wentz gets injured again.

Odds are that Hurts signs a three year deal in a month or so. Then he barely plays in 2020. He becomes the #2 in 2021, and even if he plays, he likely doesn’t set the world on fire. Year 2022 he enters as the #2 again, and the Eagles get to offer him an extension or trade him.

If he’s traded, we get something we value higher than him. If we re-sign him, it won’t break the bank, and is still inside of Wentz’s cap friendly deal, which runs through 2024. If Hurts is re-signed to a 4 or 5 year deal in 2022, then it gives the Eagles some negotiating leverage with Wentz in 2024. Unless Wentz has earned himself a second ring.

Wentz SB ring

This means, as of today, we’re solid at QB through 2026. Can the Redskins say that? Can the Cowboys? The giants certainly hope that they can. We on the other hand, have an MVP caliber starter with a Super Bowl ring, who’s backed-up by a proven winner.

Granted, we Eagles fans may have wanted something else, but right now at QB, what we have on tap is better quality than some our rival’s top shelf. And if they’re reading this, you can bet that they’re not smiling.

Abracadabra.

SHOULD HOWIE SIGN TREY BURTON?

Posted by The BEAST on 2020/04/18
Posted in: Conversations, free agents, Front Office (F.O.), NFL, Offense, Players, Roster, Special Teams, Super Bowl. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

treyburton

WELL before the Eagles won Super Bowl 52, we knew that TE’s Trey Burton and Brent Celek weren’t coming back to Philadelphia. Burton was about to be a free agent and command a nice chunk of change on the open market. TE Zach Ertz was the headliner in Philly, and there wasn’t enough cap space to sensibly have two high-priced TE’s.

So when the Chicago Bears backed a dump truck full of money (4 years, 32M$) up to Burton’s door, no Eagles fan had hard feelings about it. Absolutely nothing in his history suggested that he should have made even half of that, so the feeling was ‘Sure. He should take the money and run.’ We generally wished Burton well, (as long as he wasn’t playing against us), and everyone turned the page.

Trey_Burton

Well, the Bears just cut Burton after two seasons where he didn’t deliver on a deal that he was never, ever going to live up to. Honestly, Burton isn’t a starting TE. He’s more of a TE 2A/TE 2B type. I mean, statistically speaking, Zach Ertz had Burton’s entire career in 2018. So Burton won’t see another ridiculous payday, which means he’s not going to end up starting anywhere.

But that doesn’t mean that he isn’t valuable. Even highly valuable! Burton plays Special Teams. That’s kick coverage and hands team. He has collegiate experience at QB, HB, WR and TE. For the Eagles he’s lined up all over the place, and we do love to move  our TE’s around. Which we can do, because we have a genuine TE 1 in Ertz.

card.trey.burton

This means that TE Josh Perkins (whom I like), would be the odd man out, but if you had to pick between Burton and Perkins… I mean c’mon, with Burton the Eagles get a Swiss Army knife who’s a better blocker. The only question is, would Burton be okay with the role of TE 3, behind TE Dallas Goedert? If so, then bringing him back here would be a great move for him, and for the team.

Philly Special Trey Burton passing

DEAR SCHEDULING GODS…

Posted by The BEAST on 2020/02/05
Posted in: Conversations, NFL, Preview, Super Bowl, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

source

EARLY Bye weeks kill Super Bowl chances. Thus, I am standing in the rain, bare-chested, appealing to the schedule gods to hear this mortal’s plea: O’ YE GODS OF SCHEDULING THINGS! Hear my plea, and give the 2020 Eagles a Bye Week during the Sweet Spot!

The Sweet Spot is that period between Week 8 and Week 12. Of the last 10 Super Bowl champions, 8 have had their Bye in week 8 or later. Even the two outliers had week 7 Byes, and each faced a SB opponent who also had an early Bye.

It’s that mid to late season breather around the holidays, which helps teams rest, and get a little healthier. The static week also allows the coaching staff to assess where the team is, and how to get the most out of it, specifically vs their remaining regular season opponents.

My wet dream is a Week 11 Bye. Ten games down with an 8 – 2 record. A guarantee of no worse than .500, but just enough losses to keep the team from dipping into arrogance, or complacency. Six games to go, chasing homefield advantage,

Then parade.

None of the Week 4 nonsense that we were served up in 2016. Bleh!

I’m hoping for another parade to come up Broad Street. History says that for that to happen, we need a Bye in the Sweet Spot. So I’m putting it out into The Universe. I’m asking for it. I’m steering it towards us. Thus, I am standing in the rain, bare-chested, appealing to the schedule gods.

A FRANK DISCUSSION

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/09/21
Posted in: Coaching, Conversations, Defense, Offense, Players, Rants, Super Bowl, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

article regular-red-pill-blue-pill.jpg

WE got spanked last year. We keep talking about how talented this team is, and how deep it is, and yet it still under-performs. Every Eagles scribe (me included) has weighed in what’s wrong with parts (Defense, run game, Secondary, etc.), but no one has yet to address what ails the whole team.

So let me nutshell it for you.

Amid the high of being the defending champs, and RT Lane Johnson talking about how much fun things were here, and everybody writing a book, and blah-blah, our Eagles lost focus. The result was a team that did what most first-time champs do: They basked in the afterglow.

Nick+Foles+Holds+up+Lombardi+John+Clark+cp (1).jpg

There’s a great feeling to knowing that I’m in this shot. You’d need a microscope to see me, but I’m there.

The hungry dog, underdog mentality, gave way to a sort of well-meaning swagger. We didn’t have the cocky, “FUCK YOU.” variety of swagger. We had the well-meaning, self-confident sort. Which is kind of the root of the problem. I’ll get back to that when I finishing listing the symptoms that make up our condition.

Our loss of focus, and the wrong type of swagger, weren’t helped by the injuries that ravaged our Secondary last year. While those injuries did a lot to deepen us, many of the lessons we learned in 2018, were ignored or shelved (so far) in 2019. For instance, our starting CB’s should be Rasul Douglas and Avonte Maddox. They play with a chip on their shoulders and an aggression that Sidney Jones and Ronald Darby simply do not possess. Eagles CB Jalen Mills has that. (Jaguars CB Jalen Ramsey also has that. IJS.)

When you add all these things together, they spelled 9-7 record, and a second round exit from the playoffs. In a very real sense, circumstance punched us in the mouth, hard enough to knock us unceremoniously on our ass. Being possessed of well-meaning swagger and not FUCK YOU swagger, we haven’t charged back, to give as good as we’ve got. So far we’ve just sat there. Like pussies.

Bleeding.

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From the Head Coach on down, almost nobody has it in their head that they’re going to MAKE things happen. Sure, we saw QB Carson Wentz in that Atlanta game, trying to will the team to a win on his own, but there weren’t enough guys thinking the same thing.

Mentally the Eagles seem to be in a defensive crouch. Nobody is hunting. We’re more focused on surviving, than on going out and making something happen. Magic only happens when you cast the spell. Silence, and inactivity yield nothing. Lacking the will to act, will only result in someone else getting what WE want.

We have plenty of talent. We have all sorts of depth and we’re putting it to the test now. What we need is for the team to decide if they want more than to just “get through it.” Circumstance kicked our ass in 2018, and we’ve yet to prove tough enough to come back at it.

2019 QB Carson Wentz TD .jpg

GO. GET. IT.

If we want to be Number One, we have to go get it. Period. There is no substitute. GO GET IT. We have to earn it. Otherwise we don’t deserve it.

I know on the eve of a game, this is hardly Pep Rally material, but it needs to be said, and you can’t count on anyone whom the Eagles pay, to be this honest. But again, it needed to be said.

JOSH McCOWN NEEDS RIGGING

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/08/18
Posted in: Conversations, free agents, Offense, Players, playoffs, Rants, Roster, Super Bowl, The 12. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

 

kobayashi maru.jpg

WITH the Eagles QB room turning into an infirmary, our Front Office went out and signed QB Josh McCown to a 1year, 2M$ deal, that’s worth up to 5.4M with incentives. Lots of fans seem happy with the signing. To me, he’s the Human version of the Kobayashi Maru, the ill-fated ship in Star Trek II’s ‘No win scenario” simulation. So I flat out don’t like the signing. Let me breakdown why.

First off, this signing only has real impact if QB Carson Wentz gets seriously hurt in the first three or four weeks of the season. If that’s the case then we’re fucked already. Yeah yeah, I know, 2017. I was on here making memes about believing in QB Nick Foles when most of the fan base was doubting him. Remember these:

0-post-Week 15

This was after the giants game

1wc -Nick of Time

0- W17 I believe

That said, 2017 was an anomaly, and 2018 proved it. Back-ups are back-ups for a reason. Don’t let nostalgia get the story twisted.

Speaking of back-ups, I’m hearing that McCown might be ahead of QB Nate Sudfeld on the depth chart, when Sudfeld comes back to active duty. That would be FARCE! McCown will have to be spoon-fed an Offense, that Sudfeld is already steeped in. McCown will have to develop his timing and touch with each receiver, whereas Sudfeld already has that. McCown will have to learn all the blocking protections.

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Like Pat Ryan and Mark Sanchez, McCown continues a long tradition of Jets who can to the Eagles to secure their place in the Hall Of Fame.

Unless we’re going to scale back the playbook for him. That usually makes a team predictable, no?

Some are touting McCown’s 17 years of NFL experience. However, what he has lots of experience at, is losing. His career mark as a starter is 23 – 53 (.302). No team he has ever started 10 games for, has EVER seen the playoffs. No team he has started even 7 games for, has ever finished with a .500 record. He’s everything you claim to hate about Sam Bradford. (Minus the sleeves.)

So playing McCown is essentially waving a white flag over the season. If it comes down to us leaning on a non-Wentz QB, why not lean on Sudfeld, or a QB like Clayton Thorson, whom we spent a draft pick on? If we’re just going to roll over and play for Draft position, then doesn’t it make more sense to develop our youth, so that the team has leverage in any possible holdout situation, and doesn’t end up where the Dallas Cowboys currently are?

This McCown signing make zero sense. It’d have made more sense to have WR Greg Ward take a few snaps per week at QB. He’s played the position at a high level in college and could be our 4th string/emergency QB. (It would also put us in position to do what I suggested in THE 12.)

Some look at the surface of this signing and they see a 17 year vet, with a name they recognize. They see that as a good thing. I look under the hood of this signing and I see a (well-traveled) 17 year vet, with a name I recognize (as not being good enough to win). There’s no way I can be happy with this.

Unless we can rig the simulation…

ANOTHER FORMER COWBOY RETURNS

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/07/30
Posted in: Conspiracy Corner, Front Office (F.O.), NFC East, NFL, Offense, Players, Rivals, Super Bowl, Uncategorized. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

2019 ZEKE HOLDOUT

THIS morning around 2:30, while watching “Speak For Yourself” I heard something that irritated me, mostly because it’s flat-out untrue. It was said that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones holds all the leverage in regards to the holdout of Cowboys RB Ezekiel Elliott. Given what just happened with former Steeler/current Jet RB LeVeon Bell, this represents old thinking.

The thinking is, because there are two years, not one year, remaining on Elliott’s contract, the Cowboys can sit pat and eventually Elliott will either return on his current deal, or sign the Cowboys “take it or leave it” offer. That thinking is shortsighted and focuses on a commodity based mindset. It does not take into account, the entirety of the picture here.

Look, every sports show that talks about this issue, will tell you about what the player stands to lose here. No one seems to be thinking much about Elliott’s leverage, or what the organization stands to lose. Even more pressing is what Jones stands to lose personally. Oh yes. He has skin in the game. Literally.

jerry and jimmy

Remember when Jones forced out head coach Jimmy Johnson? The reason was largely because Jones felt that he didn’t get enough of the credit for building the Cowboys into a two-time (1992 and 1993) Super Bowl winner. Jones wanted to prove that he could win one without Johnson, and hey, Cowboys won another Super Bowl in 1995 under head coach Barry Switzer. However, everyone with at least two brain cells said “Yeah, but those are all still Jimmy’s players. Barry and Jerry just rode shotgun.”

So from that day to this, Jerry Jones has been on a quest to win one without ‘Jimmy’s players’. The problem is that Jones is 76, and there are fewer days ahead than behind. He is literally running out of time to get what he wants. And therein lies Ezekiel Elliott’s leverage. It’s TIME.

Due to Jones race against the clock, he has the Cowboys built to win now. Their window is now. Elliott’s holdout derails that, because the team goes as he goes. If Elliott no show, he no go. He no go, they no go. That burns a year of Jones’s life, over a sum of money he’d be willing burn to warm his feet. Jones needs Elliott more than the money. The money is a meaningless commodity. What’s precious is his remaining time.

But the game of one-upmanship must be played right?

alfred morris

So the Cowboys went out and signed RB Alfred Morris. Isn’t that just adorbs? They want to show Elliott that “the beat goes on”. They want to show him that they’re keeping it moving, keeping it shaking. Hot damn! You GO, Cowboys!

Except… The Cowboys have already had Morris. He was on the roster in 2016 and 2017. He was a teammate of, and the back-up to Elliott, before being released a year ago. If they really wanted Morris, they could have kept him. They didn’t. Could have had him months ago. They didn’t. So the Cowboys gallivanting around with some guy they settled for, won’t light a fire under Elliott. How could it? Why would it? Even Morris knows he’s just a seat warmer.

When Morris, or their rookie, or whomever else acting as a stand-in for the real thing, when that guy can’t deliver the goods, Jones will know that he’s wasting time. With every loss, that clock will tick louder. Louder and louder. Louder and louder.

There’s only so long left for Jerry to get what he’s spent decades craving, and Elliott is clearly the key to that. Whether Jones even has a chance at it, depends on him not playing the game of one-upmanship.

Then again, the game could go on and keep yielding the same old result:

broken window

TRAINING CAMP 2019

Posted by The BEAST on 2019/07/26
Posted in: Coaching, Defense, Four Things, NFC East, Offense, Players, Roster, Special Teams, stats, Super Bowl. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

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UNLESS your team just won the Super Bowl, there’s obviously some stuff you need to work on. Last year ended with some other team going home as the champs, so we’re in that category of teams who need to get their shi-  (ahem) that need to get better in at least one area.

MISSION: Get better in a few key areas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should strive to get better in ALL areas. Gotcha. 

Clichés aside, we need to focus on a few key areas that hurt us repeatedly during the 2018 season. Those areas are:

1) Running the ball.

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This image is from the days of LeSean McCoy. 

Our deficiency was more than just injury related. We rely on scheme to help clear lanes for our run game. Last year our scheme fell flat when our vertical threat (WR Mike Wallace) went down, and teams didn’t have to pull a man out of the box. WR DeSean Jackson gives us that again, but the our LG concerns me. He has a tendency to fall off of blocks. This has to get cleaned up if we’re to have a balance Offense.

2) Getting sacks. Not hurries. Not pass rush. We need actual sacks. Takedowns. Hits on meat. QB bodies littering the ground. I want to sacks this year. Lots of rough, violent, dirty sacks. The presence of DT Fletcher Cox should be helping us produce more hard numbers.

Hurries look like this:

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Close, I say close, but no C – gar. 

Sacks create more fumbles than hurries do. Sack-fumbles can turn into scoop and scores, reeeeeal easy. They also shake opposing QB’s, and get their o-linemen yelled at. Teammates argue over whose man that was. Hurries can lead to interceptions, but as last year proved, if we’re going against a cool-headed QB, it more often leads to completion percentages of 70 and above.

3) Keeping the pocket clean.

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For all the talk about QB Carson Wentz needing to slide, most of the time when QB’s get hurt, they’re in the pocket. If you look at many of his highlights, they feature him ducking under defensive linemen while IN the pocket. That can’t keep being a thing. The wall in front of him has to get better at producing 4 count protection. If a lineman can’t give you a 4 count, on 7 out of 10 pass pro downs in camp, he shouldn’t be a Starter. Period.

4) Return yardage. I get the statistical reason that many kickoffs aren’t returned anymore, but we’ve got to get more punt return yardage. In a sense, a punt return is the first offensive play of a drive. Returning a punt at least one third of it’s kicked distance, should be that unit’s routine objective. (Yes, a score would be better, but let’s not make the perfect the enemy of the good.) It’s highly unlikely that it one third returns would happen even half of the time, but a goal you don’t shoot for is a goal you are guaranteed not to hit. The recent addition of RB Darren Sproles should help here. A lot.

So that’s Four Things we need to work on. (Did you smile?)

Four PEOPLE we need to work on this year are:

LG Isaac Seumalo, RB Miles Sanders, DE Derek Barnett, and OLB Kamu Grugier-Hill.

Suemalo. He simply has too many plays where he doesn’t finish with his hands on his man. He also doesn’t root opponents off the line when they line up over his helmet. That’s a power issue. Our guy here needs to do more squats. 

Much of the Eagles run game relies on movement, and sliding sideways to open the hips of defenders, to prevent them from anchoring. Because of that, Seumalo (as well as C Jason Kelce) is able to generate high ratings for “shielding” or “running shove” type blocks, instead of locking on and putting a defender “on skates”.

With 4 starts in 2016, 2 in 2017 (SB), and 9 in 2018, he wasn’t relied on to do as much power run blocking as he’ll be asked to do in 2019. He needs to be able to consistently win at the point of attack, or this unit will look the way it did when he started from Week 5 to Week 14. The run game was anemic, because we could only run inside to the right. That has to change in 2019.

Sanders. He can be eased into a running and catching role. Those things come naturally to him. NFL pass protection will be another story. If he can’t pick up a blitz, he’ll never be more than a situational back. Luckily he has Duce Staley as a coach, so he’ll be well taught. The issue lies entirely with his application of what he learns.

Many fans expect/want him to emerge as the Eagles top RB. That’s the result of fans here not doing their homework on RB Jordan Howard. That’s also the result of fans not acknowledging the Eagles preference for splitting up the RB workload. Sanders will play, but he will have to share the ball. That is the culture here. Teaching him our culture has to be a key component of this preseason.

Barnett. What I want to see from him, is how fast he disengages from blocks, where a hand lands on his chest. Does he chop and spin? Does he rip and toss? Or does he get grabbed by the yoke of his collar and neutralized?

We’re at a point where we need to see production from Barnett, and there is no better indicator of his coming production, than seeing how fast he goes from blocked to unblocked. Th reason for wanting to measure time from “hand in chest”, is to see how long it takes for him to defeat a good block, not just a lousy one. I want to see that Barnett can generate sacks, not just be gifted with one here and there.

Grugier-Hill. KGH flashed in some games last year, but disappeared far too often. Of course, he also spent last year making the jump from Special Teamer to Defensive Starter. We all knew going in, that it was going to be a bumpy ride. While he didn’t seem to be blowing many assignments out there, he just didn’t make his presence felt enough by opposing offenses.

With the addition of MLB Zach Brown, I’d like to see KGH take a step towards helping him get settled into the system. That will indicate KGH’s comfort level, and help forecast whether he’ll still be waiting to read, or reacting to keys and then trying to make plays.

This isn’t the list of things we need to win the Super Bowl. This is the list of things we need to improve on from 2018.

Last year despite being decimated by injury, we finished 9 – 7, just one game behind the Cowboys who finished 10 – 6 and won the division. We were swept by them, in two games, by a total margin of 13 points. The first game was 7, the second was 6. In overtime.

With a healthier team, and improvement in the aforementioned areas, we’re not just talking about reversing that sweep. We’re talking about sweeping the NFC East this year.

Let’s get to it.

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Anyone interested in another celebration here?