LET’S talk about what’s at stake this week. Nothing. We know who the Starters are. We know who the second units are. The third stringers will spend the year being activated and deactivated. Is that what we’re watching too see?

Besides, we play the Jets in like six weeks. We’re not showing them anything worth seeing. We won’t even be hinting at anything in this game. 

I mean c’mon, rookie OT Brett Toth, who signed a three year deal a week ago, is currently a liability as a pass blocker, and has yet to see any preseason action. Even if he doesn’t play a snap in this game, we already KNOW he’s guaranteed a spot on the practice squad.

So there are zero stakes for the team, and the final score is a shrug to the team. Aside from a handful of guys who want more audition tape, all anyone wants, is to avoid getting hurt. That’s it. That’s what everyone is playing for. (BTW: If a player is still compiling tape in preseason week four, they’ve already told teams enough.)

I spent from Sunday until Wednesday trying to figure out why any of us should care about this last preseason game, when it’s evident that the team itself is just going through the motions, due to obligation. Here’s what I came up with: Just don’t watch it.

Why pump direct ratings via cable boxes, Nielsen boxes, and satellite receivers, to a league that doesn’t see fit to offer you a decent product? “Here piggy piggy. You’ll consume it because it’s sort of football.” Really?

Between football players who don’t have to play, baseball players who don’t have to hustle, and basketball players who think it’s cool to go years without being able to shoot a basketball, teams just don’t worry about giving fans quality anymore.

Are we their bitches? Are we their whores? I can’t speak for you, but I for one, am certainly not. If we the fans don’t send some sort of message, we’re going to keep seeing this. Or worse. So I’m taking this week off, and I’m asking you to do the same.

So let’s talk about the Four Things we need to focus on this week versus the Jets:

1) Work: If you work nights, don’t bother trying to find places watch the game out of the view of your supervisor. Why risk a write-up for a game that doesn’t matter? Wait until the games count, to run that kind of risk. Right Carson?

2) A night out: While lots of fans will crowd into sports bars, and stay home to catch the game, so the theaters should have fewer people in them. Same with restaurants that don’t have televisions in them. Take advantage of the extra elbow room.

3) Grocery shopping: If your favorite supermarket is open until 10p.m. or later, then by 7:30 or so, sports fans with talking pets (small kids), have generally cleared out of the building. If you show up at 8:00, you should be able to have an almost leisurely experience shopping. It’s not as good as 10a.m. on a Tuesday, but it’s pretty close. (Note: This may permanently change when you shop.)

4) Decorate: Spend the night decorating for Thanksgiving. Turkey Day is a huge football holiday, and it seldom gets the attention it deserves, since Christmas always waylays it’s mojo. Friday August 30^th is still very much Summer. I can hardly think of a better end to Summer next month, than barbecuing in 80 degree weather, with Pilgrims in your window, and a giant inflatable turkey behind you.

If we do all these things, we’re just about guaranteed to win. Now that we’ve covered what should happen, let’s get into what likely will happen:

You will watch the game. You can’t help it. You’ve missed football for too long, to ignore it for a week. The season is just too finite, and you don’t want to waste a second of it.

I on the other hand, am dead ass serious about not watching this game. (I may see a few seconds here or there while channel surfing, but I will not be staying. By no means.) Because I won’t be watching it, Head Coach Doug Pederson will elect to play his Starters for a series or two. Rest assured I will nod in amused irony when you all tell me about, it the following day.

(Side note: The Eagles have been putting a LOT of emphasis on adding to that RT spot recently. Halapoulivaati Vaitai, Jordan Mailata, Brett Toth… They don’t keep taking swings like this, at any other spot on the line. We might want to keep an eye on Lane Johnson this season.)

PREDICTION: EAGLES 20 – Jets 17

[yeah bitch eagle pic]