EAGLEMANIACAL.com

BUTTHURT. That is the way I felt when the Eagles decided to go against all common sense and re-sign “quarterback” Sam Bradford. I’d predicted all the while that Bradford wouldn’t be our QB in 2016. I was so sure. There wasn’t a single reason to bring Bradford back. Not one. So when it was announced that we’d done it anyway, I was mad enough to shit myself two new assholes.

His contract had expired! We had been freed! Logic had already applied a thick layer of grease to the streets of Philadelphia. All anyone had to do was give Bradford the slightest shove, and he’d have slid all the way from his locker to the airport. But General Manager Howie Roseman chose to re-sign him. And then gave away the farm to to get the number two pick in the Draft to try to replace him. This left us all saying “Wait. What??”

My thinking is that Roseman could have moved up to that number two pick without tying up so much guaranteed money in a guy he didn’t want to keep anyway. Then again I’m not an NFL GM. What the hell do I know, right? And don’t even get me started on Chase Daniel. Remember him? Well if you do, that probably means you’re somehow related to him, because to this point in his “career” he’s been utterly forgettable.

The idea here was to draft a QB and let him sit behind Bradford and learn for bit before taking over, like Donovan McNabb did behind now Head Coach Doug Pederson. Like Bradford, Pederson was a lackluster NFL QB, but it worked out for McNabb. Then again McNabb’s Head Coach (Andy Reid) was (and still is) an offensive mastermind. Whoever sits behind Bradford would be sitting behind a mediocre QB without an Andy Reid on the staff. So be prepared for this time around to work out somewhat differently. (If indeed the Eagles do select a QB with that pick. There’s some back-channel chatter.)

The way I see it, we can trade Bradford, and let the rookie QB sit behind Daniel. I mean mediocrity is mediocrity, right? Why split hairs over which of two piles of dog shit tastes worse? It’s all dog shit, and they shouldn’t be making the fans eat any of it!

I still think Bradford can help the Eagles for years to come. If the Eagles trade him to Dallas, he can become Tony Romo’s successor, and throw checkdown after checkdown, effectively neutering Dez Bryant for the remainder of the contract he held the Cowboys hostage to get from them.

I don’t care what we get for him. As my friend King Danny from NFC EAST IMPERIAL said “I don’t care if we get a ham sandwich for him”. I have to agree with that. I don’t care what we get for him. So long as we can shoehorn him onto a rival’s roster. But the bottom line is fuck that whiny bitch. If Bradford wants to go, I hope Roseman makes him and Eagles fans everywhere happy, by granting Bradford his wish.