OUR head coach is about to make us into the Redskins. Like their owner Dan Snyder, he doesn’t seem to grasp that there are rules to this game. There are rules for conducting one’s self as the face of an NFL franchise. Since he was hired here, Charles Kelly has been in steady violation of those rules.

All throughout Kelly’s tenure as Eagles Head Coach, something about him has rubbed me the wrong way. While it’s true that I didn’t want him hired in the first place, the same was true of Andy Reid. Reid however won me over by the end of his first year and I’m still a fan.

Yesterday I was listening to one of my playlists while I wrote my last article, since music is part of my writing process. Usually I have an eclectic group of songs on, but yesterday I went straight rap and I threw on my ‘BOOM BAP’ playlist. Between DMX and Jurassic 5, was 1-900-Hustler. When Freeway’s part came on, my eyes lit up. Suddenly I knew what wrong with the Eagles. By the end of this article you’ll know it too. Sit back, get comfortable, and get ready have your mind blown. If you can’t do that now, bookmark this and read it later.

I’ll start  by showing you the lyrics, and then I’ll break it down. Trust me, even if you don’t follow rap, you’ll understand my explanation.

Freeway:

First things first, watch what you say out your mouth

When you talkin on the phone to hustlers

Never play the house, think drought, keep heat in the couch

When you sittin in the presence of customers

Never hold out, pull out, throw heat and be out

If a n***a ever think that he touchin ya

Lay low, get cake, whip all over the state

Stash dough, whip yay with, right amount of bake

Now I’ll explain:

First things first, watch what you say out your mouth

When you talkin on the phone to hustlers

When the season ended Kelly made it PUBLIC that he wanted a couple players to redo their deals. Jeff Lurie made it PUBLIC that he didn’t see Nick Foles as a top tier QB and Kelly never weighed in. Other NFL teams (hustlers), can see that, and it lowers any trade value those players may have.

Never play the house,

Kelly came in and butted heads with Howie Roseman. While many fans figured that Kelly won that power struggle, I made it plain that it was Kelly who lost. Take a look at this McCoy trade as an example. If it blows up, Roseman doesn’t have a single fingerprint on it. He gets the cap space to work with regardless, but no blame could ever be laid at his feet.

think drought, keep heat in the couch,

When you sittin in the presence of customers

Last year we only kept 9 offensive linemen. We added no young talent. We lacked both talent and depth when those injuries (drought) hit. The same lack of depth and talent was true of our pass rush. Mostly because more emphasis is put on Special Teams players than on back-ups who could legitimately start. That lack of firepower (heat) made it easier for opponents (customers) to rob us of wins, when we should have profited by serving them a loss. 

Never hold out, pull out, throw heat and be out

If a n***a ever think that he touchin  ya

Despite our troubles as the team collapsed last year, you pretty much NEVER saw McCoy and Darren Sproles on the field together. The short screen passes to Jordan Matthews practically disappeared. Losses piled up, yet we left our some of our best weapons unfired and even uncocked.

Lay low

Kelly has built himself up as the guy who’s going to change how everyone does everything. He’s come to the Eagles with the attitude of a man who’s won championships everywhere he’s gone, and so far his solution to those who aren’t in love with those changes is to ship them out. Be interesting to see which Free Agents want to sign here this year. And which ones we lose.

get cake, whip all over the state

So far Kelly has gone not only all over the state, but the country, talking to teams and trying put together a deal that would let us move up to get Oregon QB Marcus Mariota. Fact is, if we do move up it will cost us draft picks for years to come. And that’s if Mariota pans out. If he doesn’t, that’s all loss. I fail to see the profit (cake) in that.

Stash dough, whip yay with, right amount of bake

While the team has put money aside, it’s been done at the expense of talent. Right now he’s mixed more filler (bake) on this team than he has top talent (yay). Right now we have it backwards, but the hope/idea is that some of our cap space (stash) will attract more top talent.

Kelly is being reckless right now. And the guys who have to sell his product are being put in situation that gets harder to maintain every year. When a general makes it a habit of making things harder on his soldiers, he is in straight up violation.