WASHINGTON Football Team head coach, Riverboat Ron Rivera, announced that Washington’s training camp will feature an open competition for starting QB. This is HILARIOUS, and once again proof that you can take the ‘R’ off the helmet, but you can’t take it outta the team.
Let’s get a look at the competitors in this competition.
Their big free agent addition was QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, to whom they gave a 1 year, 10M$ deal. (The numbers matter, so keep an eye on them. Don’t just glaze over them.) The press has spent the last couple of months, lathering up over the idea of “Fitzmagic” teaming with WR Terry McLaurin. McLaurin himself has also expressed a great deal of exci-
Well fuck all that! It’s a competition, bitches! Ya heard?!
Our next competitor, is Taylor Heinicke. His claim to fame? Not getting blown-out, while losing in the first round of the playoffs. Heinicke has a 2 year deal worth 4.7M$.
Last and certainly least, is Kyle Allen. You may remember him from such disasters as: Trying to replace Cam Newton in Carolina; or trying to steal the starting job from Dwayne Haskins in Washington; or Karma paying his ankle a visit in 2020. He’s been handsomely rewarded for those exploits, with a 1 year, 850K$ deal. And he has a chance to start!
So let me get this straight. Washington is going to give Fitzpatrick 10 mill this year, just so they can start a guy making 8.5% that??! No. Stop. Just… just stop. First of all, that level of stupidity can’t be possible. Even in Washington. Secondly, illegal immigrants are protesting the wage disparity between Fitz and Allen. Many of them think that Allen should sneak into Mexico, to find better opportunities.
This “QB competition” is as bogus as the one in Philadelphia, between QB Jalen Hurts and his back-up Joe Flacco. If Philly finds a way to trade for QB DeShaun Watson, then sure, things could change. Otherwise, unless Jalen hurts, he’s the starter.
Washington is Fitzpatrick’s NINTH team, and he doesn’t have a winning record as the starter of any of the previous eight. His best run was 6 – 6 with Houston, and still, currently he is the best option Washington has.
After last season, Washington fans have had a taste of hope. Now they have expectations. To start Heinicke or Allen at this point, would be inhumane. It would be the equivalent of giving a toddler $500, lighting him on fire, and sending him into Walmart alone, on Black Friday. You’d have no right to expect anything good to come of it.
There is no QB competition. There can’t be. There isn’t a large enough worldwide supply of stupidity, for Washington to fuck up that badly. I hate the Redsk- Football Team, and even I think more of them than that. They gotta make it Fitz. Because nothing else does.