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NICK Foles probably doesn’t want to be a back-up quarterback until he retires. Problem is, despite being a Super Bowl MVP, the Eagles already (hopefully) have a long-term answer at QB, in Carson Wentz. If Foles wants to be a starter, he’ll have to Fly Eagle Fly the coop. But whence can he go from Wentz?

Let’s take a look at the map.

Foles is from Texas. His extended family is still out there. Giving that some thought, he might like the idea of playing close to blood. Problem is the two Texas teams (Dallas Cowboys and Houston Texans) already have the same situation as we do here in Philly.

Roll your eyes right, and we see Louisiana, home of the Saints. Their QB Drew Brees is long in the tooth, and the two guys they have behind him are more placeholders than actual QB’s. Problem with Foles going there, is that the Saints have a number of issues to shore up, that are higher priority than who backs-up a QB who has played at least 15 games, every year for the last 14 seasons. It would be pricey both in trade terms and salary cap, just for a guy to ride the bench.

Looking far right, there’s Flo-rida. Jacksonville has Blake Bortles, but with as up and down as he is, you have to realize that Foles is an instant upgrade in terms of savvy. They would however, lose Bortles running ability. Same deal with Miami and Ryan Tannehill, who was out this year with an injury and replaced almost seamlessly by Jay Cutler who came out retirement to win the job from (I think) Matt Moore. Or Kellen Clemens. No it was Matt Moore, right? Wait. Does it fucking matter? 

The only issue is whether or not Foles would be interested in going either place. If he doesn’t want to be in Florida, then he could walk after next season, leaving that team holding the bag. The only way a trade for Foles happens, is if he changes the language on his existing 5 year deal (voidable after 2). If that happens any time soon, expect to see Foles traded to a team in Florida.

Hold up! I’m not done!

Crane your head left from Texas, and you see Arizona, home of the Cardinals. With Carson Palmer having just retired, a Carson-free zone might sound great to Foles. Besides, with Denver having won the Kirk Cousins sweepstakes, Arizona is currently ass-out at QB. Oh, and did I mention that Foles played his college ball in Arizona? I hadn’t? Well, Nick Foles played his college ball in Arizona. The Cardinals need a good QB to coax one more year out of WR Larry Fitzgerald, and Foles’s name just might do the trick. Out of all the teams we could outright fleece for Foles, Arizona is the most likely. This has Minnesota/Dallas written all over it.

Speaking of those sore losers, Minnesota is about to dump a dozen free agent QB’s into the market, any second now. However, none of them has the Super Bowl and Pro Bowl MVP swag, that Foles possesses. None of them has ever thrown 7 touches in a game, and none of them already has their uniform in Canton already.

Jesus. The more I write about it, the dumber it seems we’d have to be, to lose him TWICE. I mean when you list it like this… Isn’t the idea that we want Carson Wentz to one day be a Super Bowl winning QB, possibly a Pro-Bowler, record setter, possible entrant to Canton… Don’t we already have all of those things, right now?

I swear, I wasn’t thinking about this until I started typing, but REAL TALK y’all, what the fuck are we doing here?

If Foles wants to stay, we need to find a way to let him. If he doesn’t, we need to find a way to convince him. Maybe at the parade Thursday? When he’s up to speak on the Art Museum steps, we should show him crazy love, and make it clear to the Front Office that we won’t take kindly to losing him again.

Let’s try to help steer the future of Nick Foles.