Image courtesy of Arrowheadaddict.com
JASON Avant and I were sitting down at Penn’s Landing eating walnuts, with our feet in the water, enjoying the warmth of late spring/early summer. George Washington was leaning out of his kayak, yelling about the boat traffic on the Delaware, how he had a war to get to, and how “ain’t nobody got time fo’ dis!”
I told Jason that the Eagles had released DeSean Jackson. He started to nod, then he looked at me and said “Released? You mean traded, right?” I shook my head “Naw. Just released. They only want players of high character.”
Jason stared at me for what was the most uncomfortable three or four seconds of my life. I was almost certain he was going to swing on me. Understand I’m no punk, but no one wants to be the guy who drowned when Jason Avant knocked him into the Delaware. I tensed up, because no one wants to be the guy who swung on Jason Avant for no reason. When he finally spoke, I flinched.
“So they’re into character now?!” He asked with his eyes as wide as eggs.
What was I supposed to tell him? I looked around for inspiration and saw George and a 6-foot squirrel in a canoe, trying to hit each other with their paddles. Kanye West urged them on, screaming into a megaphone “Yes! This is how it ends! This is how it all goes down!”
“They won’t have any luck for this” Jason said and bit into a walnut. He was himself again but something had changed the moment. There was a chill to the warm air now, and I remembered that I don’t really like walnuts. Suddenly it seemed silly to be biting them through the shell. Slowly the seagulls became an alarm clock, and it became obvious that I’d been dreaming.
Funny thing. Hours later and awake, I just can’t shake Jason’s words.
They won’t have any luck for this.
