EAGLEMANIACAL.com

THE WIN STREAK CONTINUES!!! After having won the Super Bowl 21 weeks ago, the Eagles chose not to end the season, and keep going from city to city, pounding on doors and picking fights GAMES, against other franchises. After having played every team in the league already, this week we’re trying to instigate a second game against the Jets.

Last week’s 60 – 26 squeaker over the Falcons, allowed the Eagles to give some of our fans a chance to takes a few snaps. QB Carson Wentz continues to riddle secondaries with touchdowns, in between jugs of Muscle Milk and weightlifting on the sideline. The Jets utter inability to stop the run will be handily exploited this week, with RB Miles Sanders running behind recently converted FB Jordan Mailata.

No longer playing for the Lombardi. (Got it). Not really playing for the money. (More is already on the way.) These Eagles are playing for pride. Specifically to take someone else’s away. When they finally lose a game, the team has promised to shut it down. Until then…

The point of Four Things isn’t to predict a winner, it’s to discuss which tactics will practically guarantee our Eagles this win. CAUTION: I don’t have the faintest clue as to what a point spread is, and I know even less about how it works. I know football and that’s IT. If you use FT as a gambling tool, you are trying to lose your money.

So let’s talk about the Four Things we need to focus on this week versus the Jets :

1) No biting: Let’s not have another Denver Incident. (Hey Carson, everyone knows you have his ear. We saw you take it. It’s on video tape. Video tape! Just give it back, and we can finally say that our National Nightmare has come to an end.

2) Eliminate penalties: We don’t need a repeat of Head Coach Doug Pederson being flagged for semi-naked taunting. (As he was several times last week.)

3) Fewer points allowed: Please stop spotting teams 20 points before kickoff. If the game hasn’t started, there shouldn’t be a score. Much less a score of 0 – 20. It just looks weird. Please stop doing this.

4) Use the scoreboard: Video of DT Fletcher Cox being invited into the homes of opposing coaches (by their wives), always seems to make it hard for opponents to focus on a strategy, or make adjustments. Keep doing this.

If we do all these things we should win, with a score looking like…

PREDICTION: EAGLES 84 – Jets 6

Check back in a couple of days for Four Things Reviewed, and we’ll discuss how it went.