EAGLEMANIACAL.com

AFTER vanquishing the Vikings on Sunday night, DE Chris Long was interviewed by Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw. Bradshaw mentioned that Chris’s father, Hall of Famer Howie Long was nearby. At that point Chris said that the Eagles always seem to play well when Howie is present.

At that moment I began hatching a plan.

As a fan I want to give the Eagles every advantage I can, and if Howie Long’s presence is good for the Eagles, then we fans need to make sure that he gets to the Super Bowl. Somehow, someway, we need to raise money to send a rich man, to an event that none of us are well connected enough to get tickets to, even if we could afford them.

(Now pressing play on Sarah McLachlan’s “In the Arms of an Angel”)

So won’t you give? Give, so that Howie can travel in first class, to an event that he probably was already comp’d for and paid to attend. Give, so that he can watch his son play, from seats that we bought, that he won’t use, because his seats will be so much better.

For less than the price of a cup of coffee, you probably can’t help us much, so give like 50 bucks instead. Come on! Don’t be cheap! We’re trying to win a Super Bowl over here! I know, I know. You just came off of Christmas, so buying things for other people so soon, fills you with a creeping rage. Let alone buying things for a millionaire. I understand. But this is a Super Bowl!

I’m sure that Chris would do it if he could, but as you know, he gave away all of his money and all of his socks and all of his undies are now loaners. So he can’t do it. This is where we get to SHOW our loyalty, and go that extra mile. Speaking of extra miles if you have them, donate them. Make that sacrifice. I won’t be donating MY miles because I want to keep them. I haven’t booked a flight yet, but no, you can’t have my miles.

Keep in mind, what is at stake here, people. We You all have to make sacrifices. My sacrifice?? Jeez, you’re nosey! But if you must know, I’ll send some of the money that you send to me, to fund this whole thing. What will I do with the rest of it?? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll meet up with WR Nelson Agholor and he can give me some advice.

Aaaaand I’m out of rum.