Sunday 1:00 Lincoln Financial Field PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania
NEEDS TO STEP UP:
QB Carson Wentz: The Eagles prized rookie will open the season as the face of the Eagles franchise. He’d better be as ready as he thinks he is, because when he gets relentlessly pressured, stumbles and is suddenly blindsided, he’ll wish he was back on the field. Oh you thought I was talking about the Browns? Nope. I was describing how our local media will treat him if we don’t win this game.
WE MUST CONTAIN:
WR Corey Coleman: Looking at this roster, I found myself asking “How did they let it come to this?” There are only a few players worth taking seriously on this entire roster, so I shrugged and picked Coleman. He was a highly touted first round Draft pick, and since he wasn’t a Brown last year, he probably has no idea that he’s supposed to suck. So he might play well out there.
EAGLES STORY LINE:
I can’t believe the NFL is actually making us play this J.V. squad. Their defensive front seven has a couple of interesting rookie OLB’s in Emmanuel Ogbah and Joe Schobert (whom I wanted the Eagles to draft). Aside from that potential, this is a lackluster, rag-tag group. That story plays well in underdog movies, but Sunday it’s gonna get Cleveland run the fuck over.
As unready as I think Wentz is to start, this is probably the easiest assignment he could have drawn without going back to North Dakota. If the Eagles lose this game, somebody has to lose their job. This is as close to soft-balling one in, as the NFL can get.
Our Defense will be the MVP, keeping us in good field position, as the Brown’s leaky defense allows a few short touchdown drives.
EAGLES 28 – Browns 13